Story Never Ends
by cathrineoriginal
Summary: I I never thought of myself as believer of things. Of love, of marriage, of life itself. Like the moment I realized I'd never experienced something as true as love. That I've never lived in any place long enough to justify having such a simple thing. And, how at that moment,all I wanted in this world, is to have someone that loves me back. Jamie/OC (Rating may change)
1. Chapter 1

**Yet again, I've fallen in love with another TV show, and also the books of "Outlander" and most importantly; I fell in love with Jamie's character.**

 **After I started to read the book, and watch the series, I had this thought in my head I couldn't get rid of, so I decided to give it a go.**

 **I hope you'll like it too, and please tell me what you think, and if you want me to continue this or not.**

 **Please, enjoy the journey Ceana is about to take!**

 **I do not own "Outlander" only my Oc**

 ***cathrineoriginal***

* * *

 **Sassenach**

I never thought of myself as believer of things. Of love, of marriage, of life itself. I witnessed the war close at hand. I never thought in a million years I would survive it. In the years that followed, after the war, I learned that I would survive so much more, that I had to endure so much more than another girl my age.

My best friend, married his woman just before the war broke out. I always had a soft spot for him, and always wished that he would've picked me over her… Claire Beauchamp. But no, Frank Randall always thought of me as a younger sister. Which made me think that I was destined for a life alone.

That's why I found it strange when Frank wanted me to come along on the second honeymoon he wanted Claire to have. He told me he didn't want to leave me behind with all the unsuitable males, as he so cautiously put it. I know he really wanted me to join him to find out more about his ancestors. Mainly because as I worked as a historian and had a love for the unknown, and after the second world war, people came to me, to know more about their family's history. I've been swamped for the last year.

But my main passion, was the untold stories, or the stories that people didn't seem to understand, that secretly, I understood. When one first families came to me, in the hope of finding their loved ones after the war, I wanted to do what I could, but it wasn't easy. I never thought for once, that I would be the loved one who would soon be lost…

People disappear all the time. Young girls run away from home. Children stray from their parents and are never seen again. Housewives take the grocery money and a taxi to the train station. Most are found, eventually. Disappearance, after all, have explanations.

Usually.

Strange, the things you remember. Single images and feelings that stay with you down through the years. Like the moment I realized I'd never experienced something as true as love. That I've never lived in any place long enough to justify having such a simple thing. And, how at that moment, I wanted nothing so much in all the world as to have someone that loves me in return. Someone that I can look at with a smile and call home. A love I can call my very own.

I don't see how it's possible to experience my chance at love, when my best friend is dragging me all around England and Scotland, keeping me away from those wishful thoughts, those men who could maybe one day, offer me that love. But another part of me, wanted to know more about the unknown history, the parts one knew little about. I wanted to find my place in this world. I just didn't know how.

* * *

So, here I was, sitting in the back of Frank's car, wished for nothing more than that I was the one sitting in the front with him, but that's Claire's spot. I'm never going to fill that space, no matter what.

Claire was a wonderful woman. She taught me everything I needed to know about treating injuries, about being able to heal those that need it. But I didn't see the need. I wasn't planning on doing stuff like that…. Ever…

My name is Ceana or as Frank likes to call me, Kenna. Ceana is the Scottish version of my name, and I got that from my father. He was Scottish, but no one talked about him, not after he told me that I was a mistake. How cruel people can be. I was proud of my name.

Frank drove into the city of Inverness, with a huge smile on his face, grasping the site that was in front of us. The sun was shining, and I could finally feel somewhat free. I tilted my head back, and let the wind run through my hair. I caught a glimpse of Frank staring at me through the rear-view mirror, giving me that smile that I tried to forget. Why wouldn't he let me stay at home?

We arrived at Inverness, and the town was rather quiet. I looked around, and saw blood on smeared above the doors. I found it fascinating.

"What do you suppose that is?" Frank asked, seeing how I was captivated by it.

"Oh, good lord! Blood!" Claire exclaimed, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"Are you sure?" Frank asked.

"I think I should know the look of blood by now." Claire said, and it made me chuckle.

"There's a stain just like it on the house next door." I said, making them aware that several houses had the same mark.

"We seem to be surrounded by homes marked with blood." Frank said, trying to scare me.

"Give it a rest, Frank. You know well enough that I don't scare easily. Maybe it has something to do with a celebration or something. A ritual like the one Moses told his people to sacrifice a lamb to avoid death." I said, laughing a little as I did.

"You may be closer than you think. But I suspect it to be more pagan rather than Hebrew." Frank answered and I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"I had no idea Inverness was a hotbed of contemporary paganism." Claire said, looking flirtatious at her husband. I could feel the jealousy burn within me.

"Oh, my dear, there's no place on earth with more magic and superstition mixed into its daily life than the Scottish islands." I said, opening the door without waiting for a response.

"Well, shall we?" Frank said, gesturing to his wife. As we checked in, I wandered around a little, looking at the paintings, the books on the shelves. I think I'm going to like it here. This is my kind of town. I looked out the window, and it was all so quiet. My eyes caught the blood on the door once again. And it made me wonder.

"The blood you saw is that of a black cockerel. It's an old custom at this time of year to make such a sacrifice to honor Saint Odhran." The sweet lady said, with her thick Scottish accent.

"Ah, Odhran. He was sainted in the The eighth century?" Frank asked, showing off from all the things that I thought him.

"You know your history."

"Oh, please. He's only repeating what I taught him." I said with a grin, making him throw his hat at me.

I'm afraid my husband and his best friend is historians, Mrs. Baird. They'd quite happily stand here holding forth for hours - if you encourage" Claire said, playfully.

"Hardly. Highland folklore is far from my specialty, but am I right in thinking there is. Isn't there an old saying associated with Saint Odhran?" I said, joining them at the desk.

"Yes. The earth went over Odhrain's eyes. He, um he was buried alive, voluntarily.

"Charming." Claire said with a shudder.

"Are you a professor, then, Mr. Randall?

"I will be soon." Frank answered her, and I remember him telling me about his job. I was so proud of him.

"He's accepted a post at Oxford beginning in two weeks." Claire said, also being very proud of her man.

"Ah, then this is a last holiday before settling down to workaday life again, is it? Well, you've picked a Bonnie time to be here." Mrs. Baird told us. "Just nigh on Samhain."

I take it that's Gaelic for "Halloween"?

I kind of spaced out of the conversation. I stared into nothingness, my eyes searching for something that wasn't there.

For some reason, I could almost feel a pull toward that nothingness. As if someone was calling me. Everything around me became a blur, and it actually became harder to breathe or think about anything else. It was calling for me. It felt as if it was calling me home.

"Ceana, are you okay, darling?" Frank asked, when he saw the pale look on my face.

"Yes, everything is fine. Just a bit tired, that's all." I said, tearing my eyes away from that mountain top.

Well, lassie, as I said: you're all welcome at the festival, of course. Mind you, ghosts are freed on the feast days." Mrs. Baird told us, not keeping her eyes off me. "They'll be wandering about, free to do good or ill as they please."

"Of course, what would Halloween, Samhain, be without a good ghost story?" Claire agreed.

"Oh, and we have those, for sure. I'll show you to your room." Mrs. Baird said and walked towards the stairs.

* * *

I walked into my room to freshen up. I was glad that I had a room as far away from Frank and Claire as it could possibly be. I did not fancy the thought of staying in the room next door, hearing them going at it like a bunch of rabbits. I had the view over town square, which I was rather happy about. I loved it here, I loved everything about this place. It reminded me of the town my grandmother lived in when she was alive. Even though my father didn't bother with me, my granny did everything with me. She gave me the love I needed, and we explored things together, and we found it fascinating.

I grabbed my book and walked out of my room. From down the hall, I could hear laughter from both Claire and Frank. I didn't need to be a scientist to know what they were up to. I felt my heart shatter. Why didn't I tell him how I felt when I had the chance? Now, it was too late.

I walked down stairs, to find a place to sit and read my book. Mrs. Baird stood behind her counter, going over some papers. Her head shot up when she saw me coming.

"Is everything all right, dear?" She asked in a motherly tone. What? Even though I am 26, I still need that comfort.

"Yes, everything is fine, thanks. Could I trouble you for a cup of tea?" I asked sweetly, and Mrs. Baird smiled back.

"Of course, sweetheart. Whatever you want." Mrs. Baird answered, before disappearing into the kitchen. The rattle of the chandelier, made me look up, knowing well enough that Frank was fucking Claire into oblivion, and it tore me apart. I sat down with my book, trying not to mind the movements, but it wasn't that effective.

"Here you go, lass. A nice cup of tea." Mrs. Baird told me.

"Thank you very much." I said, grabbing the cup, as the sound of laughter boomed through the roof. I let out a sigh, before opening my book. My favorite book. I am a sucker books, and I love reading Shakespeare.

"What'cha reading there, darling?"

"William Shakespeare – As you like it" I said, showing the cover.

"I've never read that." Mrs. Baird said.

"Do you want me to read a little for you?" I asked, and Mrs. Baird couldn't say no.

 _"It was as sudden as two rams rushing at each other, and as quick as Julius Caesar's "I came, I saw, I conquered." Your brother and my sister had no sooner met than they gave each other a good once over; they had no sooner looked at each other than they fell in love; no sooner fell in love than they sighed; no sooner sighed than they asked each other why they had sighed; no sooner answered than they sought a solution. And in this way, degree by degree, they've built a staircase toward marriage. And they had better climb those stairs immediately, or else they'll end up in bed before they ought to. They're in the heat of passion; they simply have to be together. You couldn't beat the two of them apart._

"That was lovely, lass." Mrs. Baird told me.

"Ah, yes. I need to live vicariously through someone. Might as well be Shakespeare." I said with a sigh.

"Are you not married?"

"No, I am afraid that it will not happen to me. considering my best friend is chasing away everyone that comes remotely close." I said, looking up at the nice woman in front of me.

"Ah, yes. And it cannot be easy, seeing the man you love, with another woman." Mrs. Baird said, and I knew she had been observant when I comes to Frank.

"It's that obvious, huh?" I said, feeling my eyes starting to water.

"I know you think that he's the one for you, but I have a feeling, you'll experience a love so much greater than this. You just need to know where to look." Mrs. Baird said, and it made me want to know more, but she had already retreated to the kitchen, and she didn't come back out. I sat there, wondering if she was right? But how could I ever fall in love with someone else, when my heart already belonged to the man upstairs.

* * *

I woke up the next morning, with the feeling of someone staring at me. As if someone was invading my personal space. I opened my eyes, and Frank's face was directly in front of my own.

"Jesus Christ Superstar!" I exclaimed, pushing Frank away, knocking him off the bed.

"What the hell are you doing?" I yelled at him.

"You should have seen your face!" Frank said, rolling around on the floor in laughter.

"Why are you in my room?" I asked him, getting out of bed.

"I was coming to wake you up. Because breakfast is almost over, and we have a lot to see today. So, chop, chop." Frank said, smacking my behind. We had a really strange friendship, but he didn't know how my heart raced whenever he touched me. I wanted to tell him about my feelings so badly, but I didn't want to ruin things between us.

I was glad that we chose the Highlands for this vacation. I loved it up here, and I am glad I managed to make Frank a history nutcase, just like myself. We had countless of adventures lying at our feet.

"You see up there? Up on top there, that's Cocknammon Rock." Frank said, pointing at some rocks as we drove in the car towards our next adventure.

"And in the 17th and 18th centuries, you would have often found British army patrol up there lying in wait for Scottish rebels and brigands. Can you see how it commands the high ground in every direction? It was a perfect position for an ambush." I added, with stars in my eyes. This was unbelievable to see.

We drove for a little while, and ended up in front of some ruins. It was spectacular, and I felt at home here. It was as if I could feel the electricity of people. I could feel the buzzing of life. I know it's not possible, because this has been like this for a long time. I walked over to a little meadow beside the castle, a remote place away from everything. Something about this place, drew me to it. It looked like it could be a secret garden. On the wall, something was carved into the stone. I reached out, trying to touch it, trace the letters with my fingers. It was the letter J and the letter C and the year of 1743. I was captivated by it, and was about to touch it, when Frank sneaked up behind me.

"So, what I can gather, Castle Leoch was the ancestral home of the laird of the MacKenzie clan until midway through the nineteenth century." Frank said, scaring me to death. But he didn't notice. "Here, take a look."

Claire and I followed Frank inside the castle, and it felt strange being here. I could still smell the intoxicating flavors in the halls, I could feel the warmth of the flames from the fireplace. It all felt so lively to me. like I was meant to be here.

"I think I found the kitchen!" I yelled back to Claire and Frank. Frank practically ran down the hall to get to where I was.

"Really?"

"That's probably a hearth." I said, pointing directly in front of us. Frank looked around this place in awe. And it made me happy to see him like this.

"I have no evidence that my ancestor visited this castle, but it was within his operational sphere, so It's just possible that he walked these very halls." Frank said, and I felt a sting of jealousy when Claire kissed him. I forced myself to look away.

I took my cue to leave the happy couple, and walked into what looked like a great hall of some sort. There was old painting on the walls. I wonder why none of them had been removed. But in my mind, they belonged here. I walked further into the room, and I could almost hear the music. The sound of bagpipes, laughter.

Suddenly, it felt scary, being there alone. I quickly turned around and ran out of the hall. I needed to find Claire and Frank as quickly as possible.

I heard voices coming from some kind of basement, and walked down the stairs. I stopped midway, when I heard moaning, and I saw Claire and Frank in throes of passion. I couldn't stand seeing them like this, so I turned around quickly, and ran up the stairs again. I didn't want to stay in the castle anymore, and ran outside. I jumped into the car, and locked the doors. I don't know why I am acting like this. I buried my face in my hands, trying my best not to cry. I should just go home.

A little while later, Frank and Claire came back out. They had those stupid grins on their faces, and I wanted to rip them apart.

"What happened to you?" Frank asked as he opened the door.

"I got spooked. It was scary in there." I mumbled, but it made Frank laugh.

"You're a funny one." He said, patting me on the head like a dog. I didn't even answer him, and just leaned back on the seat. I wasn't in the mood for talking, so I just pretended to be asleep.

* * *

The days dragged on, and I tried to forget that feeling I got in that castle. But it still haunted my dreams. Frank was oblivious to it, and I wanted to keep it that way. We worked as much as we could on finding more about his ancestors, and visited the priest Inverness. He had all the records and book about this place and history.

Claire didn't want to bother us, and sat in a chair, reading a book. Frank and I looked through some papers, when I suddenly banged his fist on the table, making me jump.

"Yes, yes, yes, I found him." Frank said, smiling from ear to ear.

"Him"? - Is it is it Walter?" Claire asked.

"No, darling, Jonathan." Frank answered, handing the document to me.

"Jonathan Wolverton Randall. Captain of dragoons in the British army - and your direct ancestor." I said excitedly. This is what we've been looking for.

"Exactly. Otherwise known as "Black Jack," a rather dashing nickname that he probably acquired while he was stationed here in the 1740s. The reverend has found a series of army dispatches that mention the captain by name." Frank said, as Claire joined us.

"Oh, how exciting." She said, trying to sound interested.

"It is."

"Good to see all your sleuthing over the past week has paid off." Claire said, kissing her man.

"Yes, I was beginning to wonder. It appears black Jack commanded the Garrison at Fort William for four years or so. Seems to have spent quite a bit of his time harassing the Scottish countryside on behalf of the crown." The reverend told us, and I just found it so exciting.

"Well, he was hardly alone in that endeavor. The English were deeply unpopular throughout the Highlands in the 18th century." I said, looking over some more papers.

"Well into the 20th, it would seem. I distinctly heard the barman in the pub last night refer to us as Sassenachs." Claire said, and she seemed a little offended. I didn't, I knew what it meant.

"Well, I hope you didn't take offense. It only means "Englishman," after all. Or at worst, outlander." The reverend said, with a little laugh as Mrs. Graham walked into the room.

"I've brought you a wee bit of refreshment, gentlemen. I brought but the three cups, for I thought perhaps Ms. Hamilton might care to join me in the kitchen." She said, and I looked at her curiously. Why just me? I thought best not to ask myself that question, and smiled.

"Yes. Yes, absolutely. Thank you. I could use a break from all this." I said, getting up from my chair, which quickly was occupied by Claire.

"Ah, it's been so long since I've had a good cup of oolong." I said, sipping on my tea cup. It warmed me up nicely, which was good, because I was freezing.

"Aye. I couldn't get it during the war. It's best for the readings, though." Mrs. Graham said. "Oh, I had a terrible time with that Earl grey. The leaves fall apart so fast it's hard to tell anything at all."

"So, you read tea leaves, then?" I asked, liking this woman even more.

"Like my grandmother taught me. And her grandmother before that. Drink up your cup." Mrs. Graham said, and for once, I wanted to know what's in store for me. Because I needed to move on with my life.

"Let's see what we've got there." Mrs. Graham said, looking at my cup.

"Well? Am I going to meet a tall, dark stranger - and take a trip across the sea?" I asked, dreaming away to a faraway place.

"Could be. Or could not. Everything in its contradictory. There's a curved leaf, which indicates a journey, but it's crossed by a broken one, - which means staying put." Mrs. Graham answered, and she looked at me funny. "And there are strangers there, to be sure.

Several of them. Show me your hand, Dear." Mrs. Graham told me, and I gave it to her.

"Odd. Most hands have a likeness to them. There are patterns, you know? But This is a pattern I've not seen before." Mrs. Graham told me, and I couldn't help but feel that something was wrong with me.

"The large thumb, now, means that you're strong-minded and you've a will not easily crossed. And this is your mount of Venus. In a man, it means he likes the Lasses.

But it is a bit different for a woman. To be polite about it. The fellas will have a hard time staying out of your bed when you invite them in." Mrs. Graham said, making us both laugh.

"The lifeline's interrupted, all bits and pieces. The marriage line's divided. Means two marriages." Two marriages? But I'm not even married for the first time yet.

"But Most divided lines are broken. Yours is Forked." She told me, and I couldn't understand any of it, but I wanted to know. I wanted to find that man I was supposed to marry someday. The moment between Mrs. Graham and me, was interrupted by the men coming into the kitchen in the company of Claire.

"I suspect your ancestor had a patron. A prominent and powerful man who could protect him from the censure of his superiors." The reverent told Frank.

"Possibly, but it would have to have been someone very high up in the hierarchy of the day to exert that kind of influence. The Duke of Sandringham." Frank suggested, and it was as if a light went off in the reverend's head.

"The Duke of Sandringham." The reverend said in awe.

"No, no, no. Hold on, wasn't Sandringham a suspected Jacobite himself?" I asked, butting in on their conversation.

"Aye, you know, I believe you're right. And the Duke died under very suspicious circumstances just before the battle of…." the reverent started to say, but Mrs. Graham jumped into action, saving her precious china.

"None of that, none of that. Stand away before you do some permanent damage." Mrs. Graham said, shooing the reverent out of the kitchen.

"We're getting somewhere at last." Frank told me excitedly. But I couldn't share his enthusiasm. My conversation with Mrs. Graham did something to me.

"I'm really glad to hear it, but I think it's time for me to go. I'm getting rather tired." I said, standing up. I needed some time for myself.

"Well, I hope you'll join us for Samhain tomorrow night." The reverend told me.

"What, the pagan festival? Reverend Wakefield, you do astonish me." I said, putting a hand over my heart.

"Well, I love a good ghost story as much as the next fellow." The reverend answered with a laugh.

"Could you two at least try to get home before the storm breaks?" I asked Frank as I put my coat on.

"We will." Frank called after me.

* * *

It was refreshing, walking back into town. I needed to clear my head. I'd never put any stock in superstition. And my Catholicism was nominal at best. However, I couldn't shake the feeling that Mrs. Graham's words had the ring of prophecy.

The war had taught me to cherish the present because tomorrow might not ever come to pass. What I didn't know at the time was that tomorrow would prove less important than yesterday.

When I got back to my room, I removed my clothes to take a bath. This was the only time I had to myself, and then, I was alone in my own thoughts. I was still wondering what Mrs. Graham meant by two marriages. I was afraid that it wouldn't happen for me at all. Not when the man I wanted, was already married.

After my bath, I used some time pampering myself, trying to get my hair to do as I wanted. As I stood there, a shiver ran down my spine, and I felt as if someone was watching me. I turned around, looking out the window, and I swore I saw someone standing by the fountain. I couldn't see the man properly, I couldn't see his face, but something told me that I knew him. That he would be a big part of my life. suddenly, the power died out, and I stood there in the dark, and the man was nowhere to be seen. I shook the feeling off, and started to light up some candles.

A few minutes later, Frank opened my door quickly, making me jump into the air.

Frank, you scared me." I told him, but he walked straight over to my window. "Frank, what's going on? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I'm not at all sure that I haven't." Frank said, as Claire came into the room. We went over to their room, and Frank told us what he saw.

"When he pushed past me, he was close enough that I should have felt him brush my sleeve as he passed, but I, I didn't. And then I turned around to say something, and he'd gone. He just vanished." Frank told us, sipping on his drink. "That's when I felt a chill down my spine."

"Well, maybe I have an admirer after all." I said with a smile. Thinking that it may be truths to Mrs. Graham's words.

"Well, I don't like it. I don't like it when men are ogling on my best friend." Frank said.

"Why are you being like this, Frank? You can't chase away every man that comes in contact with me." I said, feeling my anger getting the best of me. "You have no right to do that to me. You're not my husband, you're not my boyfriend, so why the hell do you care so much?" I asked, getting up.

"We're not having this conversation now." Frank answered with gritted teeth. I knew it was because of Claire.

"Well, I'm saying we are. You've got to stop this, Frank. I don't need you to protect me all the time. I'm a grown woman, and I can do whatever the hell I want!" I yelled, before slamming the door on my way out.

I know I was overacting, but I needed to say it. He didn't get to do this to me anymore. I needed to break the bonds. I was too caught up in things. I walked back to my room, and decided I needed to get out of here, and grabbed my coat. I wrapped it tightly around me, before I walked away from the In. At least, the rain had stopped.

* * *

I walked around aimlessly, until I remembered something. I want to see the witches. Apparently, there's a circle of standing stones on a hill just outside the village, and there's a local group who still observe rituals there. This lot are meant to be druids.

Craigh na Dun. Even the name sounded magical. According to local folklore, these stones were carried here from Africa by a race of Celtic giants. It all sounds crazy. I stopped just before I reached the circle, and turned back to look over the landscape.

The town on Inverness looked so peaceful, and beautiful. I could stand here, watching it forever.

As I stood there, I suddenly heard someone coming towards me. I hid behind some bushes, and watched as a group of people stepped forward.

Is that Mrs. Graham? The reverend's housekeeper's a witch, no… A druid, remember? They should have been ridiculous. And perhaps they were. Great… I'm talking to myself.

Parading in circles on top of a hill.

But the hairs on the back of my neck prickled at the sight.

And some small voice inside warned me, I wasn't supposed to be here.

That I was an unwelcome voyeur to something ancient and powerful.

I could just sit there, watching them forever. They looked so peaceful and happy. I wanted that.

The sun was coming out over the trees, and it looked even more beautiful.

After the ritual, I took the chance of getting a closer look. I walked towards the rocks carefully, as if I was trespassing. The air up here, felt different, and I felt drawn to the power here. I walked around, and I swear I could hear whispers in the wind. It freaked me out a little, so I decided to leave. This was not the place for me to be right now.

I ran back into town, trying to shake that awful feeling off me. I silently made my way to my room, but I didn't expect to find someone sitting in my room, waiting for me. Not this early in the morning.

"What are you doing here? Where's Claire?" I asked, placing my coat on my bed.

"In our room, sleeping." Frank answered. "Where the hell have you been?"

I knew that he would be angry with me, but not like this.

"I was out, taking a walk." I answered him.

"You are not allowed to walk away like that in the middle of the night. I was this close to call the authorities, for them to help find you." He spat at me.

"I am fine, Frank. You have no right to worry about me." I shot back at him. "You're not allowed to be angry!"

"I have every right to be angry at you. You are not doing that again, or so help me God!" Frank hissed, and we stood dangerously close together.

"Oh yeah? I would like to see you try and stop me." I said dangerously. I wasn't sure what made this happen, but suddenly in all this fighting and screaming, Frank kissed me. I was in such state of shock. Not understanding any of it. When my mind started working again, I kissed him back. I held onto him with all my power, wrapping my arms around his neck. My toes curled, and I felt as if I was floating.

But then, reality hit me. Frank was kissing me; my best friend was kissing me. I tore myself away from him, and I looked at him as if he had ripped my heart out. Before I could stop myself, my hand connected with his face.

"You don't get to do that to me. You don't get to destroy me like that." I whispered, trying not to break down and cry. I grabbed my coat, and ran out the door. I couldn't stay there after what he did. That was not how I wanted to kiss him. This was not the way to do that.

"Ceana!" Frank called after me, but I didn't stop.

I took the car, and drove it up to Craigh Na Dun. I don't know why I did, but it was the only place I wanted to go. I ran up to the circle, and when I finally reached it, I sat down on the grass, sobbing my eyes out. Frank had played with my feelings, he had always known how I feel about him. I hated him! I never wanted to see him again!

I sat there in the grass, letting my tears run free. I had so many emotions cooped up inside me, and I needed to get them out. I looked to my left and saw some flowers I've never seen grow freely before. It looked like forget-me-not's but I couldn't be sure. I reached out and grabbed one. It was so beautiful. I've never seen anything like this before.

Suddenly, the winds started to pick up, and that voice came back again. It was clearly calling my name. It was as if the wind was speaking to me. I heard this buzzing coming from the stone standing alone in the center of the circle. I felt compelled as I walked towards the stone, fixating on that alone. That pull I felt the first time I got here, only became stronger. I touched the stone with both hands, feeling the power radiating from it. My head started to buzz, and everything turned white.

* * *

 _Once, traveling at night, I fell asleep in the passenger seat of a moving car. Lulled by the noise and the motion into an illusion of serene weightlessness. Then the driver took a bridge too fast. And I woke to see the world spinning outside the car windows, and the sickening sensation of falling at high speed. That is as close as I can come to describing what I experienced._

 _But it falls woefully short._

I woke up startled. I was lying on the ground next to the stone I swore I touched only a few moments ago. How long had I been sleeping? And where did all those trees come from?

I sat up, noticing that my watch was gone. Not that I understood why. I started to freak out, and ran towards the car. I needed to get back to Inverness. When I reached the point where I left the car, it was gone. Had someone taken it? and where the hell is the road I drove on?

I freaked out even more, and started to run through the trees so I could get back to the village. I caught myself on branches, getting cut on my arms and face, but I didn't care. I needed to back. I walked around aimlessly. I didn't recognize my surroundings at all.

A loud gunshot made me jump, thinking it was a hell of a hunting rifle. I watched as men dressed in old military uniforms, and I couldn't understand what they were doing. When confronted with the impossible, the rational mind will grope for the logical. Perhaps I had stumbled onto the set of a cinema company filming a costume drama of some sort. I watched as a few men ran in the front, firing at the army men. But there was no logical reason for actors to fire live ammunition.

I ducked just as one of the army men fired a shot towards me. I ran like a bat out of hell, trying to get away. I just wanted to go home.

I ran through some bushes, and ended up by a river. There, a man stood and I recognized him right away.

"Frank? Frank, thank god! I'm so sorry for the way I acted." I said hysterically and jumped into his stiff arms. In the midst of it all, I didn't register, that this man was dressed entirely different from what Frank usually did, and I felt sick. This wasn't Frank. I removed myself from his arms, and took a few steps back.

"You're not Frank, are you?" I stated more than asked.

"No, madam, I'm not." He said rather politely.

"Who the bloody hell are you?" I asked, trying not to sound so scared.

"I'm Jonathan Randall, Esquire. Captain of his majesty's eighth dragoons. At your service." He answered, greeting me like a gentleman. I freaked out again, and started to run. Wow, Ceana, you're really making a mess of yourself. The officer ran after me, blocking my path with his sword. I was trapped, with nowhere to go.

"Who are you?" He asked dangerously.

"My family's expecting me. They'll come looking for me if I'm not back in ten minutes.

"Your family?"

"Yes. My best friend, and his wife." I said, trying to think of what to say.

"What's their names?" He asked, but I can't answer.

"What is their names?"

"Frank and Claire." I said quickly.

"Frank what?" Jack Randall said, and I needed to lie. I couldn't tell him Frank's real name, so I just used Claire's maiden name.

"Frank and Claire Beauchamp. He's a teacher and she's a nurse, a healer." I said quickly. "But my name is Ceana Hamilton."

Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Hamilton, a teacher's friend." Randall spat at me. "You must think me the fool. You'll be well advised to tell me exactly who you are and why you are here."

I didn't dare move, or do anything. I just wanted to get away from here. And I was getting angry.

"Madam, you will find my patience is not infinite."

"Get off me, you bastard." I hissed, and spit in his face. I don't know where that came from, but I decided to call it adrenaline.

"Ah, the speech of a lady. The language of a whore." He said dangerously, and I knew what could happen. "I choose the whore."

In a flash, he had my front pinned up against the huge rock I was leaning against, and I knew that he was going to rape me. How did I end up here?

Randall raised the hem of my dress, ready to take my undergarments off, and I screamed, hoping that someone would come and help me. In the next second, someone jumped down from the rock, knocking Randall out with a swift hook. I stood there, frozen to the ground, panting hard. My brownish-red hair, was all over my face, and I could hardly see through the curly mess.

"Druid!" The man said, and I didn't understand him.

"What?"

"Druid!"

The man didn't wait any longer, and dragged me by the arm.

"Who are you? Where are we going?" I demanded from him. I didn't know him, and he smelled worse than my grandmother's pigs. I saw the English army, and I wanted to scream for help, but the man who saved me from the horrible Randall, knocked me over the head, and everything went completely dark.

* * *

I wanted it to be a dream, but I knew it wasn't.

If nothing else, my erstwhile savior fairly reeked of Odors too foul to be part of any dream I was likely to conjure up. I woke up to movements, movements of a horse, and I woke up as we approached a cabin or hut of some sort.

The foul man, dragged me off the horse rather roughly, and I started to fight against him.

"Jesus Christ Superstar! Let me go, you foul, idiotic man. I am going to make pig's food out of your balls if you don't let me go this instant!" I screamed, trying to hit him. I was not going down without a fight. He clearly had enough, and hauled me over his shoulder.

"Put me down, you bastard. I'm going to fuck you up!" I yelled, slamming my fists into his back. It did nothing to him. A door opened, and he took me inside. Without warning, he dumped me down on the dirt with a thump. My backside hurts like a bitch. They all looked at me, as I crept my back to a corner. I just waited for in inevitable. They talked a language I never bothered to learn, even though my grandmother repeatedly tried to make me learn Gaelic.

One of the most terrifying men I have ever seen in my life, walked over to me, forcing me to stand on my own two feet. I tried my best not to look scared, but it was difficult.

"Let's have a look at you, then, lass." He said with a rough voice.

"I trust you're able to see me now." I said, trying to sound strong.

"What's your name?"

"Ceana…" swallowing the lump in my throat. "Ceana Hamilton."

I knew there was no point in lying. I didn't have any family left, so they couldn't get the ransom money from anyone.

"Ceana Hamilton." The man repeated.

"That's right. And just what the hell do you think you're…" I started to say, but the man ignored me. Rude ass.

"You said you found her?" He asked his man that oh, so rudely brought me here.

"Aye. She was having words with a certain Captain of dragoons with whom we are acquaint. There seemed to be some question as to whether the lady was or was not a whore." He answered and that just made me mad.

"And what was the lady's position in this discussion?"

"I am not." I told him firmly. I was not going to let them think that I was a whore.

"We could put it to the test." Another man suggested, and that made me take a step back again.

"I don't hold with rape. And we've not the time for it, anyway." The man in front of me told his men.

"Dougal, I've no idea what she might be or who, but I'll stake my best shot she's not a whore." Another man said, and it made me scowl at him.

"We'll puzzle it out later. We've got a good distance to go tonight. And we must do something about Jamie first." The man, Dougal said, and that's when I noticed a man sitting by the fire, and he was injured.

Escape was my chief concern. But I had no idea where I was. And trying to find the road back to Inverness in the gathering darkness felt like a fool's errand.

"Out o' joint, poor bugger." Dougal said, looking at the joint, and even I could see that it was dislocated. Claire taught me that much so I could manage during the war.

"You can't ride with it like that, can you, lad?" Dougal asked the man sitting there.

"Hurts bad enough sitting still. I couldna manage a horse." The man said, and that voice made me shiver. I've never reacted like that before.

"I don't mean to be leaving him behind." Dougal said, patting his knee.

"There's no help for it, then. I'll have to force the joint back."

The wisest course of action would have been to keep my head down, my mouth shut, and wait for the search parties Frank must have called out by now.

"Hold him." One of them instructed, and I couldn't watch this. They were doing this wrong.

"Don't you dare! Stand aside at once." I said, surprising myself and the Scotsmen in front of me. "You'll break his arm if you do it like that. You have to get the bone of the upper arm in the correct position before it slips back into joint."

Thank you, Claire, for teaching me all of this.

"Hold him steady." I ordered, and the man with the dislocated shoulder looked up at me. Even in pain, he looked beautiful. But I didn't have time to dwell on that now. If I didn't get this right, they would probably kill me.

"This is the worst part." I told him and jolted the joint back into place. He expected it to be worse, and looked relieved when his arm was back into place.

"It doesn't hurt anymore." He said with a deep Scottish accent. It made my legs turn into jelly.

"It will. It will be tender for about a week. You'll need a sling." I said looking around.

"You. Fetch me a long piece of cloth or a belt."

"Fetch me," she says. "Do you hear that, lads?"

"Give her your belt." Dougal ordered him, and that made him listen. I wrapped it around Jamie, making sure his arm I lay steady. "Taking a guess, you've done this before."

"I'm a nurse." I said, telling them a little white lie. What I didn't realized, was that it probably meant something else to them. The man, Jamie, looked at my breasts, and it made me uncomfortable.

"Not a wet nurse!" I barked at him, making him look away with a blush. "He mustn't move the joint for two or three days. When you begin to use it again, go very slowly at first. Stop at once if it hurts. And use warm compresses on it daily." I ordered him, and he nodded frantically.

"All right."

"How does that feel?" I asked, readjusting the belt.

"Better. Thank you." Jamie said, smiling for the first time in the short time I've been here.

"Can you ride?" Dougal asked him.

"Aye."

"Good. We're leaving." Dougal ordered, but I had a slight hope that they would bring me back to the city.

* * *

When we stepped outside, it was already dark. I looked up and thought I recognized Inverness, but I couldn't see it.

"Where is it? Where's the city? Should be visible from here." I said, starting to freak out again.

"Inverness? You're looking straight at it." Jamie said, coming straight up behind me, his breath tickling in my ear.

There were no electric lights as far as the eye could see, so as much as my rational mind rebelled against the idea, I knew in my heart I was no longer in the 20th century.

I just stood there, cold and tired, wanting nothing more than to cry. How did I end up here? My thoughts was rudely interrupted, when Dougal grabbed my arm, forcing me to walk with him.

"You be sure to stay close to the rest of us. And should you try anything else, I shall slit your throat for you. Do you understand me?" Dougal asked me. I decided to play along, and nodded my head fiercely.

"Gimme your foot. Give it to me." Dougal demanded, and I grabbed the hand in front of my face, not knowing who I was riding with. He hoisted me up in the saddle, and I hadn't been on a horse since before my grandmother died, and this one was larger. The rain started pouring down, and it made it all so much worse. The man behind me, started to move around, and I wanting him to know, not to mess with me.

"Careful. What are you trying to do?" I hissed, but stopped when I felt that scent that's lingered in my mind ever since I was at the ruins.

"I'll get my plaid loose to cover you. You're shivering." Jamie said from behind me.

"Thank you, but I'm fine, really." I said, not wanting to be a problem for him.

"You're shaking so hard, it's making my teeth rattle. The plaid'll keep us both warm, but I canna do it one-handed." Jamie told me, and it made me turn and look at him. "Can you reach?"

I just rolled my eyes, and pulled on his plaid carefully, trying my best to mind his injured arm.

"Don't want you to freeze before sunup." Jamie whispered in my ear.

"Sunup? You mean we'll be riding all night?" I asked, but I already knew the answer.

"All night. And the next one too, I reckon." Jamie replied, and for some reason, I didn't mind riding with him for that long. "A fine time of year for a ride, though."

We rode off into the dark, and I hated the rain, sliding down in the back of my neck, making me shiver even more. I wrapped the plaid tighter around me, trying to keep warm. Jamie somehow managed to pull me even tighter to him, and it felt soothing. It didn't take long, before I felt warmer, and that made me sleepy. My eyes started to drop, but I fought like hell to stay awake. Jamie started to chuckle, when I slapped my hand harshly over my cheek.

"Why don't you just sleep for a while." Jamie told me, but I shook my head.

"No, I'm okay. I don't need to sleep." I said a little too harshly.

"Well, the offer will stay put. I'll make sure that you're safe with me, lass." He said, and I knew I could trust him. I didn't want to give in, but I knew my traitorous body had a mind of her own, and my head slumped back on Jamie's good shoulder, and I found myself drifting off into a rather peaceful sleep.

* * *

I woke up several hours later, not because I was well rested, but my stomach growled in a manor that's not attractive for a woman. Jamie chuckled from behind me.

"Good morning to ye, lassie." Jamie boomed in my ear, making me groan. I was hoping this was all a dream, but no. Of course, it wasn't. Something caught my eye to my left. It was the same rock Frank, Claire and I drove by. The place the British Army used to ambush their enemy, and right now, I'm with the enemy.

"I know this place." I blurted out, looking around nervously.

"Been through here before, have you?" Jamie asked.

"Yes. I recognize that rock. The one that looks like a cock's tail. It has a name." I said trying to act a little stupid.

"Cocknammon Rock."

"The English, they, they used it for ambushes. They could be lying in wait right now." I rushed out, turning around to look at Jamie.

"It's a Bonnie place for an ambush, right enough." Jamie said, deciding to believe me. "Dougal. Dougal. Dougal."

We rushed up to him, and Jamie started to talk among themselves in Gaelic. Probably because of me. Dougal looked at me suspiciously.

"Now, you'll be telling me exactly how and why you come to know there's an ambush up ahead." He demanded, and I knew better than to hold bac information.

"I don't know, but I heard the redcoats use Cocknammon rock…" I started to say, but he cut me off.

"Where did you hear?" Dougal growled.

"In the village!" I shot back without thinking. It wasn't entirely a lie, so I guess it was fine to say so.

Without warning, Jamie pushed me off his horse. I fell to the ground with a loud thump.

"Hide yourself!" Jamie told me, before riding off with the others. Gunfire was heard all across the forest, and I'm glad that I remembered that fact. My mind's been a little fuzzy for a while.

I know I should stay hidden, but right now, I wanted nothing more than to find a way home. I wanted to tell Frank that I was sorry for leaving like that. I needed to go back home.

I picked myself up, and ran through the forest as fast as I could possibly do. I did not know where I was going, so I prayed for a sign that could tell me that everything would be okay.

I ran through some water, and stopped abruptly. Right in front of me, stood the most beautiful horse I have ever seen. It was a beautiful, white stallion. He did not have any riding gear on, so something told me that he lived in the wild. Funny… I didn't know there was wild horses in Scotland. Something pulled me towards him, something that told me to reach out, and touch his mane. I slowly walked towards him, holding out my extended hand, waiting for him to move. The sun peaked through the tree's and it made him even more beautiful. The Stallion walked closer to me, and slowly put his muzzle in my hand. I was captivated by him, and I could stay here forever, cuddling him, feeling safe.

"Hi there, beautiful." I whispered. In the next moment, something startled him, and he ran off, almost knocking me down. I looked up to see what had spooked him, and saw Jamie coming.

"Lost your way?" He asked, trying to be funny, jumping off his horse.

"I hope you haven't been misusing that shoulder." I replied. What a stupid thing to say. That's when I noticed the blood. "You're hurt."

"This lot is not my blood. Not much of it, anyway. Dougal and the others will be waiting further up the stream." Jamie said, without missing a beat. I did not want to go back to them.

"I'm not going with you." I argued, trying to get away. Jamie didn't have a lot of patience, and held his sword up.

"Yes, you are."

"What, are you going to cut my throat if I don't?" I argued, feeling more annoyed with him by the second. He looked at me with compassion. As if he felt horrible that I would ever think that he would kill me.

"Why no? But You don't look that heavy. Now if you won't walk, I shall pick you up and throw you over my shoulder. Do you want me to do that?" Jamie asked, and he started to piss me off.

"You wouldn't dare." I hissed, and before I could stop him, Jamie hoisted me up over his good shoulder, making me scream and curse at him.

"Put me down this instant!" I yelled, trying to get free. Jamie ignored me, and practically threw me up on his horse. What a rude, caveman. I thought to myself.

Jamie urged his horse to take off in a gallop, and now I finally saw how far I actually had managed to run. Why did I stop when I saw that horse? I should've just kept on running.

We caught up with the other riders eventually, and they seemed to be very pleased with themselves.

"Here's to you, lass." One of them said, handing me a flask. For tipping us to the villains in the rocks and giving us a wee bit o' fun!"

"Have a wee nip. It willna fill your belly, but will make you forget you're hungry." Jamie said, holding it in front of me. I didn't really want it, but since I was this hungry, I thought why not. It tasted horrible, and I had a hard time, keeping it down.

* * *

We were soon off again, and this time, we rode in silence. All through the day, not stopping for food, it's not like we had any with us. When the darkness came, I just wanted to drop off this horse and just stay there. My bum was sore. I heard a small groan coming from behind me, and I turned just in time to see Jamie tipping over. He was hurt.

"Stop! Help! He's going over!" I yelled, just as Jamie hit the ground.

Without thinking, I jumped off the horse, and ran over to him.

"Help me get him up. Come on." I ordered the men. They helped me up, and started checking his shoulder. I actually hated the sight of blood.

"Gunshot wound. The idiot could have said something." I said, shaking my head. "It's a clean exit. I think the round's gone straight through the muscle. I don't think it's serious, but he's lost a lot of blood. It'll need to be disinfected before I can dress it properly."

The men around me looked at me as if I was speaking Greek.

"Disinfect?"

"Yes, it must be cleaned of dirt to protect it from germs." I told them impatiently.

"Germs?"

"Just get me some iodine. Merthiolate? Alcohol?" I exclaimed.

"Oh. Oh, yes." They murmured. Of course, THAT they understood. "Here you go."

I poured some of it onto Jamie's wound, and he woke up, swearing like a sailor.

"Welcome back." I said sternly.

"I'm all right, just a wee bit dizzy." Jamie said, trying to brush this off, and it made me angry.

"You're not all right. Can you tell how bad you were bleeding? You're lucky you're not dead. Brawling and fighting and throwing yourself off horses. Right, I need a sterile bandage and some clean cloth." I demanded, and once again, they all stood there, looking at me as a insane person.

"Jesus Crist Superstar!" I exclaimed, standing up, ripping my dress up, revealing even more bare legs. I poured some alcohol onto it, and pressed it into Jamie's wounds.

"Hold still. Easy. All right." I said, as Jamie tried his best, not to moan in pain. "Lift him up."

"Come on, you goddamn bloody bastard!" I exclaimed, trying to get the bandage to cooperate.

"I've never heard a woman use such language in my life." Dougal said, slightly amazed.

"Your husband should tan your hide for you, woman. St. Paul says, 'let a woman be silent.'" One of them told me, and I did not have the time for this.

"You can mind your own bloody business, and so can St. Paul. And I'm not married." I hissed, before turning to Jamie. "And if you move so much as a single muscle while I'm tying this bandage, I will bloody throttle you."

"Threats, is it? And after I shared my drink with you." Jamie said, trying to be funny.

"We have 15 miles to go yet. Five hours at least, if not seven. We'll stay long enough for you to stem the bleeding and dress his wound, no more than that." Dougal told us.

"He needs rest." I argued, knowing that it wasn't good for him to be riding right now. "Did you hear me?"

"Randall. The officer you encountered. He won't give up so easily. He commands the redcoats hereabouts. He'll have sent patrols out in every direction by now. I canna stay here long." Jamie said, and something in his voice, told me to listen.

"You know Randall? Black Jack Randall, that is?" I asked.

"Aye. I won't risk you or anyone else being taken prisoner by that man. If ye canna fix me up well enough to ride, you'll be leaving me here with a loaded pistol, so I may determine my own fate." He answered, and I rolled my eyes.

"Might've well told me you were shot before you fell off the horse." I told him, tightening the bandages a little more.

"Didn't hurt much at the time."

"Does it hurt now?"

"Aye." He answered, and I couldn't help but put a little extra pressure onto his wound, making him groan.

"Good. That's about all I can do. The rest is up to you." I said, standing up, dragging him along with me, forcing him to stand. He easily towered over me, looking down on me with those beautiful eyes of his. It was as if he was searching through my very soul.

"Thank you, Sassenach. Truly." Jamie said, and he wasn't lying. And calling me by that nickname, made me think of what the reverend told me. It meant an Outlander, and I guess, that is what I am now, more than ever before.

"All right, well, on your horse, soldier." I said, clearing my throat. Jamie followed me back to his horse, and after helping each other up, we rode off into the night.

* * *

It never occurred to me where we were going, but as the daylight finally appeared, I started to recognize my surroundings. I've been here before… Just then, a clearing opened up, and I saw it. That large Castle.

Castle Leoch.

I'd been here with Frank and Claire two days ago.

Or was that in the future? How could I remember something that hadn't happened yet? So far, I'd been assaulted, threatened, kidnapped, and nearly raped.

And somehow, I knew that my journey had only just begun, and it was terrifying.

* * *

 **End of chapter 1.**

 **What did you think? I know that Ceana (pronounced Keh na) is a bit like Claire, but that will change. I will not have her completely like her.**

 **I hope you liked it, and that you will give this story a chance.**

 **Until next time xD (hopefully)**

 ***cathrineoriginal***


	2. Castle Leoch Part 1

**I am so sorry about the wait! I hate that I left you hanging after only one chapter. That's not the way to do it. I hope that you'll accept my apologies, and that you'll appreciate the first half of the next chapter.**

 _ **I do not own "Outlander" only my Oc.**_

 ***cathrineoriginal***

* * *

As we rode through the gates, I finally saw how lively this castle was. I could finally see the buzzing feeling I got from just entering the property. But it also scared me, and I wanted to go home.

The last time I was here, Frank, Claire, and I, simply took the car. But after spending two days and nights jolting along on a horse, I knew I'd never find my way back, not unless I convinced these people to help me in some way.

I jumped down from the horse, but I didn't dare move. I felt as if everyone was staring at me. Why wouldn't they? I was covered in dirt, my dress was torn, and I wore practically nothing. I must look scandalous.

"Dougal, you're back early, man." A man walked up to him. "We hadna thought to see ye before the gathering."

"Aye, well, we've had some luck some good, some bad." Dougal said, walking away.

"Rupert, ye great fat fart, what have you done to my Peggy now? Did I not tell you to tighten her girth?" The man bellowed at one of the men that arrived with us. It was nice to finally have a name.

"Let me be, old rat. I been riding all night, and I don't need you squalling in my ear." Rupert said, not wanting to be pestered about it.

"Did ye never even look at her hooves? You canna expect any beast to carry around something that weighs as much as you without taking care of the poor creature's feet!"

"Like a cow riding a mouse." One of the other men said, and it seemed like the way men talked to each other hadn't changed much over the years.

"Shut yer hole." Rupert barked at him.

A rather round woman walked out of the castle, and she reminded me of a cook. Like the ones you read about it books.

Rupert, m'dear! How good to see ye! Oh, my dear." The woman said happily, hugging and kissing the men. "Mwah! Ye'll all be needing breakfast, I reckon. Plenty in the kitchen. Away in, and feed yerselves."

She looked over at the man who took me in the first place, and scrunched her nose.

"Murtagh, you look and smell like a rat that's been dragged through sheep dung." She exclaimed, and I expected him to get angry, but he didn't.

"Gi' us a kiss, then." Murtagh said, and practically jumped onto the woman. Something else caught my attention. Something told me to look up, and a man stood there, watching me. I didn't know who he was just yet, but something told me, he was a big deal around her.

"And what do we have here?" The round woman asked, eyeing me up and down.

"Ceana Hamilton, Mistress Fitzgibbons." Jamie answered for me. "Murtagh found her, and Dougal said we must bring her along with us, so."

"So… Well, Ceana. Come with me. We shall find you something to eat, something to wear that's a bit more Well, a bit more." She said, trying to usher me along.

"Well, what about him?" I asked, gesturing to Jamie.

"I can fend for myself." Jamie told us, trying to brush it off, and it made me see red.

"That's a poor excuse." I argued, but my body wouldn't respond to my actions. My vision was swimming from the lack of sleep, and food... My body yet again betrayed me, and my vision started to blur. Jamie rushed forward, and grabbed me before I hit the ground.

"Oh, dear!" The woman exclaimed. "Ye need tending, Lass. This way. Let's get you out of the rain."

That was the last thing I heard, before slumping against Jamie's good shoulder yet again.

* * *

I woke up a little while later, not knowing where I was. I was no longer in my wet dress, but in a cotton like night gown. I felt warm and finally a little rested. A fire crackled with life, and I guessed that was the reason for feeling so warm. I could tell that I've been asleep for some time now, because it was already dark out. Had I been sleeping all day? I couldn't hear any noises in the Castle, so something told me that everyone was asleep. Talking about being asleep, I could hear soft snoring, coming from the corner of the room. I peeked through my sea of pillows, and what I found, warmed my heart. On a chair, a sleeping Jamie sat, holding onto his injured arm. He looked very uncomfortable, and it didn't even seem as if he had been cleaning his shoulder at all. Why did he have to be so stubborn? I removed the covers and carefully stepped out of the bed. I was still a little wobbly, and knocked over a bowl, making it hit the floor with a crash.

Jamie jumped up from the noise, ready to kill whatever woke him up so rudely.

"I'm sorry!" I yelled, holding my hands up. He pointed his weapon at me, and I prayed that he wouldn't shoot me.

"Are ye trying to get yerself killed, lass?" Jamie yelled.

"I said I was sorry!" I argued back.

"Shit!" He exclaimed, dropping his weapon, due to the pain in his shoulder. All the commotion, resulted to the door being run down by that cook, Mrs. Fitzgibbons.

"What on earth is going on here?" She asked, and she looked as if she was getting ready for bed.

This man needs help. I need to get his shoulder cleaned. I know what to do, I just need you to get it for me.

"I don't need your help, lass." Jamie tried to defend himself but I shot daggers at him.

"And I'm telling you to shut up!" I warned, and Mrs. Fitzgibbons looked at me with a surprised look on her face. But it seemed as if she liked it.

Jamie glared a little at me, but he gave up. He knew he didn't have any way out of this.

"Sit over by the fire. I need the light." I ordered and he let out a sigh. He was still stiff from sleeping on that chair. But I kinda liked it, that he would stay with me, a complete stranger, watching over me. I found some water in a bucket, and figured it would have to do, for me to wash my hands in. As I did, the cook came back in.

"As you asked, garlic and witch hazel to boil the rags. I also brought you comfrey and cherry bark for the pain." Mrs. Fitzgibbons told me, handing me the supplies.

"Perfect, thank you." I said getting things ready by the fire.

"Call out if you need anything else." She offered, looking between Jamie and me.

"I don't think that will be necessary. Get some sleep." I told her with a smile. "Thank you, Mrs.

Fitzgibbons."

"Everybody calls me Mrs. Fitz. You may also." She told me, and I smiled at her for giving me that little privilege.

After the woman left, Jamie and I was left in deafening silence. I decided to just do what I intended to do, and prepared the cloths for cleaning his wounds.

"Take off your shirt, please." I said in a low voice, and he reluctantly removed it. And I could understand why. His entire back was covered in scars. Those kind of scars it not from an accident. I knew very well how those scars appeared. Too well, really. I couldn't help myself, and traced my fingers across his scars.

"The Redcoats. Flogged me twice in the space of a week. They'd have done it twice the same day, I expect, were they not afraid of killing me." Jamie told me, and it made me feel terrible.

"There's no joy in flogging a dead man."

When Jamie said that, I had to hold my tears back.

"I shouldn't think anyone would do such a thing for joy." I said, trying not to show that I was at the brink of tears.

"Hmph, well, If Randall was not precisely joyous, he was at least very pleased with himself." Jamie said with a huff.

"Why were you flogged?" I asked, cleaning his wound.

"Hmm, well, the first time was escaping Fort William. And the second was theft. Or at least, that's what the charge sheet read." Jamie answered.

"Why were you escaping in the first place?"

"They were holding me prisoner." Jamie said, and I fought the urge to

"I gathered that. Why? On what charge?" I asked him.

"Oh, that. I think it was, um obstruction." Jamie answered, not sure if he

"Obstruction? What's that? It doesn't sound like a serious crime." I said, thinking that it wasn't that bad.

"Ah, well, I suppose it's whatever the English say it is. Aye, it was near to four years ago now. They put a levy on all the land-holders in the county, sent out small parties of soldiers collecting food, horses for transport, and suchlike. Aye, it was one day in October, Captain Randall came along to our place.

"My father was away. He'd gone to a funeral. I was up in the fields when I heard shouting." Jamie told me, and it was as if I could feel his pain.

"He wanted to send a message. This is what you get when you fight back against the English. So, she went with him. She thought he'd kill me, and, ah perhaps she was right. After that, I dinna ken what happened. When I woke up, I was trussed up in the wagon with the chickens, jolting down the road to Fort William." Jamie said, and I had to fight my tears, it was so wrong, the things he went through.

"I'm so sorry. That must have been terrible for you." I said, with a shaky voice, and I could tell that Jamie knew that I was on the brink of tears.

"Oh, aye. Chickens are very poor company." Jamie joked, trying to make me smile, but it wasn't that easy. This was even about me, and I was the mess. I took a deep breath, before picking up something to bind his arm with. For that, I needed to stand in front of him.

"I'm going to strap that arm to your side." I said, trying not to catch his gaze. It was painful for him, so I tried my best to be careful. "Just hold still."

"You're a kind woman with a good touch." Jamie said suddenly, catching my gaze after all. "Your husband is a lucky man."

My husband? Didn't we go through this earlier? But it still got me thinking. What was Frank going through? His best friend disappears without a trace, without a word, without explanation. After a stupid fight that didn't really mean anything.

Perhaps, he thought I was abducted. Perhaps I was dead.

"I already told you… I'm not married." I told him, managing to spill some of the hot water on the floor. I tried my best to clean it up, and it became an obsession.

"Ceana? Miss. Hamilton, what's wrong?" Jamie asked, putting a firm hand on my shoulder.

"I'm fine. I'm perfectly fine." I assured him, even though I wasn't. "I was just thinking about my friends."

Oh. Lass are they not alive?" Jamie asked with sympathy.

"No, actually. They're not alive." I answered and it wasn't entirely false. The tears I'd been trying to fight, won the battle, and I buried my face in my hands. Jamie stood up, and wrapped his good arm around me, forcing me to snuggle tightly into his broad, warm chest.

Shh. Shh. Therhh. Do not cry. No, shh." Jamie said in a soothing voice. I was shaking so bad, and held onto Jamie like a lifeline. I felt my tears finally dying down, and removed my head from his chest. I looked up and stared into those beautiful eyes of his. I don't know who was to blame for what happened next, but suddenly, Jamie's lips descended on mine. My body went into a frenzy, and I've never been kissed like this before. The kiss Frank gave me, could not compare to this. All my worries about him being a stranger, went out the window, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, carefully. Jamie's good arm travelled from my hair, down to my waist, bringing me even closer to him, and I was starting to see what Mrs. Baird meant about finding something greater out there. I found myself not wanting to let him go, but then I remembered, he was a complete stranger, and I was in a place I couldn't explain. With all my willpower, I tore my lips from his, and jumped out of his arms. Jamie looked just as surprised as I was, and we just stared at each other. Jamie tried to take a step towards me, but I took a step back from him, a little afraid of what might happen.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to You need not be scared of me." Jamie said softly. "Nor anyone else here, so long as I'm with ye."

I couldn't help but smile at his reassurance.

"When you're not with me?" I asked, fiddling with my night gown. Jamie gave me a crooked smile, but remained serious.

"Just never forget that you're English in a place where that's not a pretty thing to be." Jamie warned me.

"Thank you, I will." I said, yawning a little. I was still deadly tired. Jamie understood that I needed to return to bed, and walked towards the door.

"Watch yourself. Now, you sleep for a little while longer. You're worn out. Likely someone will want to speak to you before too long." Jamie said, opening the door.

"I suppose you're right." I said, watching as Jamie walked out and closed the door behind him, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I shook my head from everything that happened in the short amount of time. I jumped back into the huge bed, settling down again, not sure if I'll be able to sleep at all. I couldn't stop thinking about that kiss. It was so terrifying, and yet, so addictive. A part of me wanted to run after him and have my way with him. Another part of me wished that all of this was a dream, and when I wake up in the morning, everything will go back to normal, that all that happened in the last 24 hours, was just a part of my imagination of an adventure.

* * *

 **I know that it's short, but it's only the first half of the next chapter. I felt so bad that I haven't updated, that I wanted to give you something.**

 **I hope you don't think she's too much like Claire, because I plan to not do that.**

 **Give me your thoughts.**

 **Until next time xD**

 ***cathrineoriginal***

* * *

 ***Gale Lover: Thank you so much! I have a plan about the two marriages. I promise.**

 ***bexyhunterrogers: Thank you so much! Sorry about the wait.**

 ***Phillidore: I'm glad you found it enchanting. I hope I can live up to your expectations.**

 ***Guest: It's nice to know you think it has potential. About the authorities part... Yes, it's still common to use that sort of language. So I don't find it weird to use that... But I am sorry about the catchphrase. I didn't know what to write, and it just popped into my head, and I'm not proud of it.**

 ***Guest(2): I am planning to have Ceana falling in love with Jamie. That's for sure.**

 ***NessieBooEvans: Sorry for the wait, but I'm glad that you like my story.**

 ***BrittStar1199: I can't wait either. Hopefully, it'll be good!**

 ***Child of Dreams: Sorry for the wait. Here is the first part.**

 ***Soccer-Bitch: Sorry for the wait. I'm glad you like this story, though.**

 ***NicoleR85: Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it. Sorry for the wait.**

 ***BucksDoe: I'm glad you like it. I'll try to update for frequently, and I hope you'll love it.**


	3. Castle Leoch Part 2

**Thank you all for reading this story, and giving it a chance. I give you the next chapter, and let's see what kind of trouble Ceana will stumble upon.**

 **Please tell me what you think.**

 _ **I do not own "Outlander" only my Oc.**_

 ***cathrineoriginal***

* * *

I must have fallen asleep at some time of the night, because the next thing I know, someone barged into my room.

"You must get up now! Come along! Up with ye! You slept the whole day. 'Tis near 5:00." Mrs. Fitz bellowed, and scared me half to death. Had I been sleeping all day?

"I've some hot broth for ye by the fire. Rouse yourself." Mrs. Fitz said, but it took me a few seconds to remember where I was. I groaned and wrapped a blanket around my shoulders, before slipping out of bed.

"Thank you." I said, enjoying the warmth of the fire, and the warmth of the broth. Not something I would eat back home, but right now, I could've eaten whatever placed in front of me. I tried to enjoy the meal, but Mrs. Fitz didn't give me the time to do so. She took the bowl out of my hands, before I could finish two bites.

"Come along." She chanted, and I felt compelled to do as she told me. I didn't dare to cross her right now.

Mrs. Fitz helped me get cleaned up, and dressed properly for whatever reason, and it felt uncomfortable and heavy. But I guess this is how they wore it.

"Good and tight. There. Now you're ready to be taken to himself." Mrs. Fitz told me, as she turned me around towards the mirror, so I could take a look at myself. I actually liked it, it made me feel more like a woman somehow, even though I found myself in a time where women didn't have a voice at all. A knock on the door startled me, and that man that found me, Murtagh, came into the room. He was the one that was going to show me to the man that wanted to speak with me.

"So, you're not going to hit me over the head again?" I asked, mainly to lighten the mood. Murtagh just looked at me weirdly, and huffed as a response. He opened a door, and practically shoved me into it.

"Wait here." He grumbled, and closed the door behind me. If I was going to survive, I needed to acclimatize myself as quickly as possible. I knew where I was, but when? From the clothes and weapons alone, I knew it was most likely the 18th century.

I just needed to know what year it was. I walked over to the huge desk in the room and found a paper dated in 1743. Scotland is definitely part of Great Britain.

"I see you've met some of my friends." A voice said, and it made me jump a little. I looked up and saw the same man I had seen through the window yesterday. I put on my best smile, and approached him.

"Forgive me for helping myself." I said, as I placed the book I was holding, down at the table. I noticed that the man had some kind of birth defect, that wasn't known of yet, or so I thought.

"Some old comrades some new acquaintances yet to make their secrets known, but all friends nonetheless. I welcome ye, mistress. My name is Colum Ban Campbell Mackenzie, Laird of this castle." The man said, and I offered him a smile. "Please."

Seventeen forty-three, decades before the American revolution.

England and France are at war again. One of the Hanover kings is on the throne.

But which one?

"It was my understanding that my brother and his men found you in some apparent distress." Colum said, and it made me huff in response.

"Apparent? I was attacked and nearly raped by one of the soldiers of King George II." I answered, feeling myself blush a little at the way that I spoke to him.

"And other than this, uh, this near rape, you suffered no further molestation?"

"No. Please extend my gratitude to your brother for his kind escort." I said, trying my best to be polite. I tried to think of what to do next. Did I want to stay, or did I want to go back to what I knew? As of now, I needed it to seem as if I wanted to go back for sure.

"I will, of course, need to arrange transport back to Inverness as soon as possible." I said firmly, but with gratitude.

"I'm sure something can be arranged. But I do myself wish to know how exactly a lady such as yourself came to be wandering about in the woods, dressed in nothing but her shift." Colum said, and I tried to remember what I learned about this kind of interrogation. I needed to stay as close to the truth as possible.

"I am a simple girl from London, my father is from Scotland. I was traveling with a manservant to distant relatives in France, and we were set upon by highwaymen." I answered him, hoping it would give him some ease. "While I managed to escape the bandits, I was forced to abandon my horse and property. While wandering through the woods, I was suddenly attacked by Captain Jack Randall. I believe you know of him. It was during this unpleasant encounter that I was relieved of my clothes."

"It's true that Captain Randall has a certain reputation. But he is an officer. A gentleman." Colum said, and I fought the urge to roll my eyes. "And you're saying that a man bearing the king's commission decided to rape a stray lady traveler he came upon in the woods, for no good reason."

"Is there ever a good reason for rape, Master Mackenzie?" I asked, feeling the anger getting the best of me. I could tell it made him uncomfortable.

"I beg your forgiveness, madam. An unfortunate turn of phrase on my part." Colum said, and I calmed down a little more.

"Not at all. I believe we were discussing my transport back to Inverness." I said, trying to keep the matter at hand. Yes, I didn't know if I wanted to go back, but I'd like to know that I had a chance to go back to the only thing I've ever known.

"Aye. A tinker by the name of Sean Petrie, he will be here Saturday next. He stops at Leoch on his way to Inverness once a month, and he often has room for one or two passengers." Colum answered, and I couldn't believe my luck.

"Saturday next? Forgive me. I've lost track in all the confusion." I said when I realized that I didn't know which day it was.

"Oh, not at all. Five days from now." Colum answered. "Meanwhile I offer you the hospitality of our humble home."

"Thank you." I said, glad that he didn't decide to put me in a dungeon or something. Five days.

* * *

Five days, and I would be back on the road to Inverness, and then back to the stones atop Craigh Na Dun, and hopefully back home. If that was what I wanted. I did know something of this era the politics, the people, their dress. Even some of their customs and colloquialisms were familiar. But it was all secondhand knowledge, acquired from books, museums, paintings. It was like landing on an alien world you'd only glimpsed through a telescope.

I walked down some narrow stairs, and ended up in fresh air, but I was still high up in the castle. I didn't care, I just wanted to clear my head. For now, I was safe. But I wasn't sure if I was safer here, than going back to Frank. I looked out and saw the view from up here. It was breathtaking. I've never seen anything like this.

I heard some children laughing and playing down below, and I couldn't help but admire them. They seemed so carefree, and still prepared for the future. I looked at Dougal walked towards them, and I watch how he interacted with them.

"Aye, lads.

Well, two against one, hey? That's not fair. How about two against two? Where you going? What about you? One on one, come on, Hamish. Show us your moves." Dougal told the young boy. "Oh, that's it, good lad. Oh, very good. Oh, very quick. Oh! Oh, come on. Oh! Oh, no, no, you wouldna kill an unarmed Man! Oh, no! But he's not dead! Ah, I've got ye! I've got ye! Aah!"

I shook my head, from their silliness, and it made me wonder if maybe life on this alien world is not so different after all. Seeing Dougal playing with what I could only imagine being his son. How wonderful to see.

* * *

A few hours later, it started to get dark again. I didn't know when I would sleep again, and it felt weird, walking around in these halls, knowing that the last time I was here, I could hear the buzzing almost as clear as I could now. I wondered where Jamie was. He told me that he would look out for me, and I still haven't seen him. I peeked around a corner, about to enter the main hall, afraid of whatever would meet me there. I took a deep breath, and stepped into the hall. My greatest fear came true, as everyone stopped eating and just stared at me. I tried my best to ignore it, and I tried my best, not to fall down and make a complete fool of myself.

I spotted Colum, and walked towards his table, which seemed to be where the highest of them all was sitting. I reached their table, and it surprised me when Dougal stood up, holding out a chair for me. I knew that I was walking into a trap, I knew that they didn't trust me at all, and that they had arterial motive for this feast. I felt as if I was on display, and they only got back to eating as soon as I sat down. It was all too awkward.

"Allow me." Colum said, as one of the servants came forward with a goblet of wine. He poured a glass for me, and I didn't want to be rude and say no. I had my tricks, not to drink too much at gatherings.

"Thank you." I said truthfully, and took a sip of wine.

"May I present my wife, Letitia? Letitia, Miss Ceana Hamilton. She's British." Colum said, to his wife's surprise.

"A pleasure to meet ye." Letitia said with a smile and also, I could see her wondering about my Scottish side.

"The pleasure's mine." I said, smiling widely at her.

"I trust Mrs. Fitzgibbons found you comfortable lodgings?" Colum said, and I couldn't help but blush, thinking about what happened with Jamie and I last night.

"Very. She's a wonder." I said, praising the only woman I've gotten to know in this century, and I needed to keep her close.

"The wonder is how she manages to bake bannocks such as these with the poor ovens we have in the kitchens." Letitia said, taking another sip of wine.

"Why Hamilton?" Colum asked me, and it caught me off guard.

"I beg your pardon?" I asked back, not understanding where he wanted to go with this.

"I was wondering why you call yourself Ceana Hamilton. Both Ceana and Hamilton is from Scottish descent." Colum told me.

"It's my name." I said, not knowing where he was going with this.

"Aye, but you told me that you were going to France to see your relatives there. Why do you use a Scottish name?" Colum asked me, gaining more people's attention.

"My father was Scottish, and my mom was British." I said, immediately regretting saying that. I was more Outlander than they thought. I wasn't sure if someone of both descents were considered bastards.

No one said anything to that, so I decided to try and change the subject all together.

"I trust Mr. Mactavish is feeling better." I said, trying to figure out how Jamie was doing.

"Mr. Mactavish?" Letitia asked, not understanding anything.

"She means young Jamie." Dougal said, finally opening his mouth.

"Jamie? Why? Whatever is the matter with the lad?" Letitia asked alarmed.

"Naught but a scratch, my dear." Colum assured his wife. "Where is he, though, Dougal?"

"I sent him to the stables to help auld Alec with the horses." Dougal answered.

"The stables?"

"Best place for him under the circumstances. Dinna want him inside the walls." Dougal answered, and I couldn't stop thinking about that maybe he knew about what happened between Jamie and me.

"But it's yours to choose, if you don't agree with my orders." Dougal added.

"I reckon he'll do well enough there. Bring us a bottle of the Rhenish." Colum ordered the staff. "Oh, now, you won't find this in London."

"That's true." I said with a laugh.

"So, where are you headed next?" Colum asked me. Yes, where was I going next? I had no clue.

"Uhm, I think Inverness is the best solution for now, and then head off to relatives in France." I answered trying to remember what I told him before. "But I have not yet met them. So, I don't know what to expect."

"I'm sure it will be a joyous occasion." Colum said as he poured even more wine into my glass. I needed to be careful, I needed a way out of this situation.

As on cue, the little boy I saw earlier, playing with Dougal, ran up to the table.

"Hello!" I exclaimed. Well done, Ceana.

"My name is Ceana." I said, holding out my hand. But the boy did nothing. Did they not greet each other this way in 1743?

"Go on, then. Give her your name." Letitia said, urging the boy on, and he finally grabbed my hand.

"Hamish." The boy introduced himself.

"Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you, Hamish. I saw you playing earlier today in the courtyard with your father." I said, and everyone grew quiet. Did I say something wrong?

"With my father?" Hamish asked me.

"Yes, surely you remember, Dougal. You were swinging him around." I told Dougal. Yet again, no one said anything, and I knew that I've done something wrong. Something terrible even. I tried not to let the tears get the best of me, and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, I appear to have made an error."

"I'm the son and heir of Colum Mackenzie." Hamish said, and now I see the error.

"Indeed, you are." Letitia said, and told her son to come take a seat next to her. I just wanted the ground to swallow me whole.

"I'm afraid the rigors of the past few days have been catching up with me." I said, cleaning my mouth with my napkin. "If you'll excuse me, I think I shall retire early tonight."

"A good night to ye, then Miss. Hamilton." Colum greeted and I walked as quickly as I could out of the hall. I felt myself having trouble breathing. Frank would have laughed and said I fell for the oldest trick in the book ply the subject with food and drink, but all the while continuing the interrogation.

I would have to be more careful if I were to survive the next few days. This was a scary place, and right now, I didn't have any reason to stay behind. I missed my old life. I missed my friends, I miss my books, I even missed Claire.

* * *

I ran back to my room, closing the door tightly behind me. My breathing still didn't slow down, and I knew I was having a panic attack. I tried to claw the tight dress off, but it was little to no effect what so ever. My breathing was getting worse, and angry tears spilled from my eyes. I did the only thing I could think of, and grabbed a dagger from the table, and cut the dress open, desperate to get it off. I finally managed to get free, and feel the air coming back to my lungs. I grabbed the pins out of my hair, and let it fall freely, then I changed into the night gown. I wasn't really that tired yet, but there's no way that I'll be able to walk around the castle tonight. I walked over to one of the windows, and looked through it. I had a view of the stables, and it was soothing, knowing that Jamie was somewhere over there. He told me, that I had nothing to fear, as long as he was around, but today, he hadn't been around, and it felt terrible. A horse came out of the forest, and I recognized it right away. It was that white stallion I met in the forest. He looked even more beautiful in the moonlight. The stallion walked all the way up to the castle, and it felt as if he was watching over me somehow. I smiled when I realized it wasn't going anywhere, and walked over to the bed. I laid down, cuddling the blankets all around me, and I couldn't help but shed a few tears. How could I have gotten into this mess? Right now, I wished that I never joined Frank and Claire. I would've been home, in my own bed, in my own time. I cried myself to sleep, and I didn't know that someone was standing outside my door, listening in on my breakdown, and he couldn't help but feel completely helpless.

Naturally, I woke up early the next morning. I think I've been sleeping too much, and I needed to get things done. I looked at my dress, seeing that much of it was already ruined, and something told me that you didn't have that many dresses, so I had no other choice, then to sow it back together. Luckily, I found a needle and some thread. I wasn't the best seamstress, but I was good enough, I just used a long time, putting it back together. When I finally got downstairs, I made my way into the kitchen, and they were all hard at work already. I saw Mrs. Fitz, and made my way over to her, and I tried to ignore the stares and the whispers from the other maids. I was a stranger to them, and they couldn't trust me.

"You missed breakfast." She told me firmly, and it made me feel bad for not being here on time.

"Still some porridge. Warm it for ye?" Mrs. Fitz asked.

"No. I, uh, I was thinking I should change the bandage on Mr. Mactavish's shoulder. Jamie." I added, when I saw the look on her face.

"Where would I find the stables?" I asked, but I already knew it.

"Top of the meadow. To the east." Mrs. Fitz answered.

"Thank you." I said, not wanting to seem ungrateful. I gathered up some supplies and walked out of the castle. I could still feel all eyes on me, but I paid no attention to it. I looked around, tried to find that stallion again, hoping he would be around, but I couldn't see him. Maybe it was all just a part of my imagination?

* * *

I walked towards the stable, but I knew that someone was following me, and they did not do it subtle. It was plain obvious that Colum had ordered his men to follow my every move, and I wasn't going to give them the satisfaction of catch me doing something weird.

I reached one of the paddocks, seeing Jamie working with another white horse. She was a beauty, but she seemed like a handful. It was wonderful, seeing Jamie working so close with the horse, and it made me think of how good of a person he is, because horses, senses that about someone. I've always loved horses, ever since I was a little girl.

"Good. Come on." Jamie told the horse, but something spooked her, and she tore herself away from him. What surprised me, was that she trotted over to me, as if she wanted to greet me.

"Hello, beautiful." I said, stroking her head. She closed her eyes, and calmed down, placing her head on my shoulder.

"She seems like a handful." I said, looking up at Jamie.

"She's just a girl with spirit is all. That's always a good thing." Jamie said, leaning against the fence. I couldn't stop from thinking about the double meaning behind that statement. I thought it would be awkward, seeing him again, after our heated kiss in my bedroom, but it felt oddly familiar and good.

"What can I do for you, Mistress Hamilton." Jamie asked politely, but broke out in a smile.

"It's what I can do for you. Some fresh bandages and some lunch." I offered, and he seemed to consider the offer.

"Aye." He agreed, and walked towards the stable. The beautiful mare followed me, and Jamie shook his head.

"That horse doesn't like anyone." He mumbled, but I could hear him clearly.

"Maybe I just have a quality." I said, smirking at him, and it made Jamie laugh. He took off his shirt, and it had the same effect on me like it had the last time, and I think he noticed. Jamie sat perfectly still as I redressed his wound. It made it a lot easier on me, and it felt good, being this close to him again.

I prepared the food I brought with me, and it was good to see Jamie eating what I could only guess was normally, considering his injury.

"Quite the appetite. I should think you'd eat grass if there was nothing else." I said, mainly to joke with him.

"I have. Doesna taste bad, but it's not very filling." Jamie answered, and I accidentally choked on some bread.

"You've actually eaten grass?" I asked surprised.

"The winter. Year before last. I was living rough, you know, in the woods wi' a group of lads, raiding cattle. We'd had poor luck for a week and more and no food among us left." Jamie told me.

"One might ask why you were raiding cattle and living the life of a thief instead of tending to your own farm." I said, taking another piece of bread.

"There was a price on my head. 10 pounds sterling. A farmer's whole year in these parts." Jamie told me.

"Seems excessive for a single escaped prisoner." I said with a huff.

"No, not for escape. For murder. But I didn't actually kill the man I'm wanted for." Jamie said, and he was captivating me.

"You're a very complicated man, Mr. Mactavish." I said.

"Nay. Nay, it's a simple story, really. I told you what happened to me at Fort William. I could hardly move for a day or two after I'd been flogged the second time." Jamie said, and it made my heart ache for him. "And I had fever from the wounds. Once I could stand again, though, some some friends made shift to get me out of the camp by means I'd best not go into. And there was some ruckus as we left, and a Redcoat was shot."

"Not by you." I stated.

"To tell you the truth, I was too weak to do more than hang onto the horse. Four years ago, now. More like an old dream, but there it is." Jamie replied, and I felt for him. No one should have to go through that.

"I take it your real name's not Mr. Mactavish." I said, looking at him, as I petted the white mare, standing with her head near me.

"No. No, it's not." Jamie confirmed.

"A nom de guerre, as it were." I said.

"If you like. You know, it's valuable information, that. You know, I I doubt there are informers in the castle itself, but, you know, there might be some about the countryside be glad enough to earn a few pennies by letting the English know where I was, did they know I as a wanted man." Jamie told me, as if I would tell anyone about his whereabouts.

"Does Colum know?" I asked.

"That I'm an outlaw? Aye, aye, Colum knows. And Dougal." Jamie answered. "But they're uncles on my mother's side."

"Now I know." I said, attempting to be funny. "Why did you tell me?"

"You asked."

"That's no answer." I argued. "You could have lied or told me it was none of my business."

"Well, I suppose I could have. Didn't think of that. Decided to trust ye instead." Jamie whispered, as he moved closer to me. It was hard for me to breathe, with him this close to me, and a small part of me, wanted to jump him right then and there. But something interrupted my thoughts.

"Are you done stuffing your face while the horses run wild? And when will that colt be broken?" The man said, walking into the stable.

"None the sooner for starving myself." Jamie argued, before speaking Gaelic. Damn! I wish I had listened to my grandmother more than I did. Maybe I would've learned her language…

"I best be returning to work. Thank you for the food and the, uh…" Jamie said, struggling to find the words.

"Just try not to get flogged or stabbed today. That'll be thanks enough." I said, mostly as a joke.

"No promises, Sassenach." Jamie said, winking at me.

"Hey, Jamie?" I said, figured I should ask him about that Stallion. Jamie turned around to face me.

"I've been seeing a White Stallion running around here. Is it just my mind playing tricks, or is it running around the forest?" I asked, and I could tell that he was surprised.

"Aye. It's true that there is a white stallion around here, but no matter what you do, there's no way to get close to him." Jamie explained. "He's been around her for a few years, but never has a man gotten close enough to tame him."

It made me feel good, knowing that I've been close to that horse, and maybe I could get it to cooperate with me. But I would not make him do it. He needed to come to me.

I gathered my things, and started my walk back to the castle. I noticed the man that still followed me, and I was fed up with it. I decided to do something about it.

"Are you following me? You are." I hissed at him. "Why? You could at least do me the courtesy of an answer. Did Colum tell you to follow me?"

"Nah." He answered. Wow. What a man.

"Dougal, then?" I urged on.

"Ken, for a woman, you do ask a fair amount of questions." The man known as Rupert said, and it made me roll my eyes.

"So I've been told."

"Well, I have nae answers for ye. I am but Dougal's eyes, not his head. But let me warn ye, mistress: these eyes won't be turning their gaze from ye until the head orders me to." Rupert said, and it made me angry. I knew better than to make things worse for myself.

"It could be worse. I'll be sharing guard duty with Angus, and you'll not be finding him as charming as myself. He's in his cups more than out of them. A fornicator of women and a shagger of wee beasties when there's no women to be found. So, I suggest you enjoy me while you can, because you'll be yearning for me when you feel the foul breath of that mad bastard on the back of your neck." Rupert said, as he followed me back towards the castle.

"Lovely." I said sarcastically.

"Lucky for you, he prefers female creatures with the tang of the farmyard about them." Rupert said, just to taunt me.

"Then I'll remember to bathe regularly." I shot back without turning around.

"Aye, he wouldna ken what to make of that." Rupert replied, and I decided to just ignore him the rest of the walk back to the Castle.

When I got back, I decided to do something stupid, or I don't know. But something within me, told me to take this up with Dougal, and I wasn't going to let it go without a fight.

"Well, clearly, you suspect me of something, or you wouldn't have people watching me." I told him as I practically run after him in the forest. "Perhaps you'd be so kind as to give me a notion of your suspicions, or is that too much to…."

"I suspect you may be an English spy." Dougal said, cutting me off, and it shouldn't surprise me.

"A spy? Me?" I asked appalled.

"Ye have no told the truth about who and what you are. Of that I'm sure. And until I am sure of ye, I'll have you watched day and night. Now you ken my mind." Dougal said, and I could understand his cautions. They didn't know me at all, and they were right to be suspicious.

"Very well. But I think you'll find I'll be doing very little of interest over the next four days. I do hope your spies give you a full report." I shot back at him, and I intended to not draw attention to myself.

"Four days?" Dougal asked, not knowing what I was talking about.

"Yes. I plan to leave with Mr. Petrie on Saturday. Forgive me. I would've thought your brother would have told you that. Perhaps you don't ken his mind." I said and walked away from him, giving him something to think about.

* * *

For the next few days, I determined to maintain a simple routine, both to keep my mind occupied while I awaited the tinker's arrival and to give Dougal's men nothing of the slightest interest to report. put me to work helping to harvest food for the kitchen. I found a quiet sense of pleasure in touching growing things once more, felt the satisfaction of helping them thrive. I had to do something, waiting for the stallion to come back. I walked over to a huge tree, and picked up some mushrooms.

"Those kind are poison." A voice said from behind me, and I jumped up, hitting my head in one of the branches. I turned around, and saw a woman standing there, laughing at my silliness.

"Oh! I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh." She said, trying to regain her posture.

"I imagine it was funny from over there. Thanks for the warning, though, but I do know those mushrooms are poisonous." I told her, rubbing my head at the same time.

"Who is it you're planning to do away with? Your husband, perhaps? Tell me if it works, and I'll try it on mine." The woman said.

"Actually now, while the caps of these mushrooms are poisonous, you can make a powder out of the dried fungi. It's very effective in stopping bleeding when applied topically. Both on humans and animals." I told her.

"Fancy that. My name is Geillis. Geillis Duncan." The woman said. "I'm sorry, I should have introduced myself." I said, feeling embarrassed. "My name is…"

"I know who you are, Ceana." Geillis said, cutting me off. "The village has been humming with talk of ye since you came to the castle."

"What is it they're saying about me?" I asked, but I already knew.

"That you're likely a Sassenach spy." Geillis told me. "You know, those will start bleeding to get rid of a child you don't want. Brings on your flux. But only if you use it early. Too late, and it can kill you as well as the child. The girls in the village come to me every now and again for such things. They say I'm a witch."

"Are you?" I asked.

"Hardly. Although I am aware of how wood betony can transform toads into pigeons. You should come visit me sometime down in the village. I have a cabinet full of potions and medicinals I wager would tickle yer fancy." Geillis said. "But I hope I'll see you tonight at the hall."

"The hall?" I asked, but Geillis didn't say anything else. She left me alone. I didn't blame her, though. I walked back towards the castle, and I couldn't shake the feeling of someone following me. I turned around quickly, and I saw the Stallion standing there, right in front of me. I didn't want to startle him, and slowly walked towards him. I've been this close to him before, but this time, he seemed a bit off, and I looked down on his leg. The leg seemed swollen, and I could see the wound. It wasn't big, but it was infected. What was the odds of me finding him like this?

I walked slowly towards him, and I expected him to run away from me, but he stood still. I carefully placed my hand on his neck, trying to sooth him.

"Hi, beautiful. I'll do my best to make you feel better." I whispered, and it seemed like it wasn't the worst injury. I managed to bring the stallion back to the stables without anyone knowing. I grabbed the mushroom from earlier, and made it into a powder, so I could put it on the wound. The stallion seemed quite content, and I would keep him safe as long as needed. The stallion stayed close to the castle, and I managed to give him the attention he needed, at the same time as I tried to keep it a secret. I didn't need everyone looking at me as I tended to the horse.

* * *

The night had fallen once again, and after a week's observation, I diagnosed Colum's condition as Toulouse-Lautrec syndrome.

Named for its most famous sufferer who did not yet exist, I reminded myself, it was a degenerative disease of bone and connective tissue.

Lautrec died at age 38. And given the state of medicine in the 18th century, Colum Mackenzie was most certainly living on borrowed time.

"Masters William Talbot and Fingal Duncan, will ye stand forth?" The man said, and someone stepped forward. I didn't understand anything. Luckily, I was accompanied by Geillis.

"They're neighbors. Having a dispute over a cow." Geillis told me.

"A cow?" I asked, as they started to laugh at something Colum said.

"He says; well, let me see." Geillis said, but I cut her off.

"It's all right. I have the feeling something would be lost in translation." I replied, as someone decided to speak up.

This went on for some time, and I didn't like it at all. At the end of the night, a young girl was brought forward. I felt the urge to protect her, but nothing I said or did, would make it easier for her. I looked over at Jamie, and I could tell he felt the same way.

"Her father accuses her of loose behavior." Geillis whispered in my direction. "Her father wishes the Mackenzie to have her punished for disobedience."

I didn't like this at all, and I tried to figure out what I could do next. Jamie looked over at me, and I could tell that he felt the same way I did. Suddenly, Jamie said something in Gaelic, and everyone looked at him.

"He's offering to take the girl's punishment." Geillis told me, and it made my insides freeze.

"What? But he's still injured." I said, starting to feel hysterical.

"They're arguing it now." Geillis told me, as the men continued arguing in Gaelic. "He allows it. He chooses fists."

"Fists?" I asked appalled.

"Rather than the strap." Geillis answered, and I saw Jamie talking to Murtagh. I didn't like this at all, but I didn't know what to do. I watched how Rupert punched Jamie in placed I knew he was weak, and I hated seeing him like this.

"How long must this go on for?" I asked, feeling the tears trying to escape.

"Only until blood's drawn. Usually when their nose is broken." Geillis answered, and I couldn't help but feeling bad.

"This is barbarous." I said as I watch how Jamie took every hit without fighting back. I hated it, and when he fell down, I wanted nothing more than to help him.

"Ceana, stay here." Geillis demanded, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to follow her instructions. I watched as Murtagh escorted him away, and I wanted to follow them. As I tried to, Geillis stopped me.

"This way is quicker, and you'll stir less gossip." She told me, and showed me another path to take.

* * *

Geillis brought me to the kitchen before Jamie was brought in and it gave me the chance to boil up some water for him. Just a few minutes later, Jamie came into the kitchen and I knew he needed my help. I took off Jamie's bandage, and clean the bleeding wound on his shoulder.

"Why did you do that? Take that girl's punishment? Do you know her?" I asked, trying not to sound affected, as I pressed a warm cloth against his face.

"Ken who she is. Haven't really spoken to her, though." Jamie told me.

"Then why?" I asked curiously.

"It would have shamed the lass to have been beaten in the hall before everyone that knows her. Taken a long time to get over it. It's easier for me. I'm sore, but I'm nae really damaged. I'll get over it in a couple days." Jamie told me. Mrs. Fitz came into the room, and she looked almost as scared as I was.

"Here ye are, lad. Rinse your mouth with this. It'll cleanse the cuts and ease the pain." Mrs. Fitz said. "Willow bark tea, with a bit of ground orris root. Ground up well."

I couldn't help but smile at the old lady.

"Top of life." Jamie said, using his charming voice.

"What you did was kindly meant, lad." Mrs. Fitz told us. "Laoghaire is my granddaughter, ye ken?"

It made me feel bad, seeing that Mrs. Fitz left the room. She seemed as if she tried to hide her pain. Jamie shook his head, and looked back at me as I tried to make things better for him.

"Take that bandage off your shoulder in the next two days." I told him and Jamie smiled at me.

"Would it not be easier if you did that?" Jamie asked me.

"Yes, but I'll be gone. I'm leaving with Mr. Petrie tomorrow." I answered, and I could tell that Jamie didn't like it, as if he wanted me to stay forever.

"I see." He said in defeat. I hated seeing him down like this. "Well… Then perhaps this is goodbye."

"Yes." I said. But somehow, I didn't like where this was going. Jamie walked closer to me, and I found it difficult to breathe. His hand brushed against my cheek, and it forced me to look up at him. Jamie looked straight into my eyes, and it seemed as if he tried to read me. His lips brushed against mine, and I was about to wrap myself tightly around him, when we heard a noise. I turned around, and saw Laoghaire standing there, wanting to talk to Jamie.

"I think someone would like to speak with you, alone." I said, but Jamie seemed annoyed, mostly at me.

"Aye." Jamie said, not really wanting me to leave.

"Well, good-bye to you, then, Jamie." I said, trying to make this as easy as possible.

"Safe journeys to ye, Ceana." Jamie replied, and I wanted to scream at him for not giving me a reason to stay. I turned around quickly, and walked out of the kitchen.

* * *

There was no way, I would be able to go to sleep now, so I rushed back to the stable, to tend to the White Stallion I found earlier today. I opened the door to the stables, when I heard loud voices. The stallion had gotten into the stable, and was causing troubles for the master of horses, Alec. Without thinking, I jumped in front of him, managing to calm the horse down, and Alec looked at me with a shocked expression.

"What do you think yer doing?" He yelled at me. "How did you even get this horse in here?"

"Easy. He just followed me." I said. I looked at his leg, and he had started bleeding again.

"Damn it! Now I have to clean it up all over again." I muttered under my breath. "You do not need to worry about him for very much longer. I will bring him with me when I leave tomorrow morning. Now, shoo, and let me work."

I grabbed a few clean cloths, and cleaned the wound up once more. At the same time, I sang softly to him, which made him relax even more. While sitting here, I thought about everything that has happened. I didn't want Jamie to be angry with me for deciding to leave. But he hasn't given me a reason to stay, so why should I?

* * *

Early the next morning, I jumped out of bed as quickly as I could. I needed to get ready for my departure. I needed to get the horse ready as well, because I couldn't leave him here. I should probably find a name for him soon, instead of only calling him the stallion.

Mrs. Fitz helped me with getting ready, and I didn't even have time to say a proper goodbye to Jamie. Maybe it was for the best. I couldn't get attached to someone I barely knew. It was best that I returned to Inverness, that I found my way back to Frank and Claire.

"The bannocks should last a day or two, and the cheese will keep for a week." Mrs. Fitz said as we walked down the stairs towards the carriage that would take me away from all of this.

"You've been too kind, Mrs. Fitzgibbons. I can't thank you enough." I said, feeling grateful towards the woman.

"Think nothing o' it, lass. Safe journey to ye." Mrs. Fitz said, and gave me a hug. She was exactly like a mother should be. It was hard leaving her behind. I felt the woman freeze up and turned around, only to find Dougal standing there.

"Colum wishes to see ye." Dougal told me, and I found it suspicious.

"Why?" I asked.

"It doesna matter why." Dougal argued, and I didn't want to seem rude.

"All right. I'll be back in a minute." I said, and followed Dougal. We walked along the halls, and I suddenly remembered that I've gone through those halls before. I knew where he was taking me. To the same room, I saw Claire and Frank going at it, and what made me lock myself in the car.

"Something wrong?" Dougal asked me, bringing me out of my own head.

"No." I assured him, trying not to seem nervous. I walked down the stairs, slowly. And it all seemed so different now, then back in 1945.

"Good day to ye, Miss. Hamilton." Colum greeted.

"Good day." I said politely.

"Ye have no connections with clan Beaton, have ye?" Colum asked me, and I didn't know where he was going with this.

"The Beatons? No." I answered.

"The healers of clan Beaton are famous through The Highlands. We had one here, until he caught a fever which carried him off within a week. Davie Beaton was his name. And this was his surgery, he called it." Colum told me, and I found it rather fascinating.

"Really?"

"I understand you have quite some skill as a healer yourself. Both humans and animals." Colum said, and I was afraid of what he would say next.

"It's an interest of mine, yes." I replied, looking through one of the books.

"You know the uses of these potions and things?"

"Some. This is all really fascinating. Thank you for showing me. But I I must be going." I said nervously, trying to get past him.

"Seeing as we have not had a healer since Davie passed, I want you to take up the work." Colum said, blocking my path.

"But I'm leaving." I said, trying to argue.

"No. You're staying." Colum said firmly.

"What did Dougal say to you? Did one of his thugs make up lies about me?" I hissed, showing of my disliking of the man.

"My brother keeps his own counsel on you. This is my decision." Colum said, and it made me angrier.

"Then why am I staying?" I asked him, trying to hold my tears back.

"Because it is my pleasure that you do so." Colum answered, as if that was good enough.

"Because you think I'm a spy. Surely you don't believe that." I hissed at him.

"I believe that you have secrets, Ceana. Now, maybe they're the kind of secrets that every woman has, which pose no threat to me, to Leoch, or to clan Mackenzie. But until I know for sure, you will remain here as my guest, tending to the humans and animals that may need your help.

"You mean as your prisoner, don't you?" I asked him.

"Only if you try to leave." Colum answered, and it made me feel small.

Colum and Dougal left me alone in the cellar and I suddenly felt suffocated. I knew I was on the verge of another panic attack, and I needed to get out of here. I knew there was no way that I could leave now, and it made it difficult to see an end to this.

I was trapped, and right now, there was no way out.

* * *

 **There it is. I hope you enjoyed it, and I hope you'll want to read more about Ceana's journey ahead.**

 **I'm not quite sure where this story will end up, or how long it will take, but I hope that you'll love it anyway.**

 **until next time xD**

 ***cathrineoriginal***

* * *

 ***Child Of Dreams: I know, right? FINALLY!**

 ***BrittStar1199: Yeah, I wanted them to have a kiss this early, but that doesn't mean it will be easy for them. Your theory may not be as crazy as you think ;)**

 ***kayluvsall: Thank you so much! I'm curious myself. I have no idea where this is going to end.**

 ***bexyhunterrogers: I'm glad you think so, and I loved that kiss as well. I wouldn't be too upset if he had done the same to me ;)**

 ***Gale Lover: Thank you so much! I know, right? I loved that kiss! I'm glad you like Ceana, it means a lot!**


	4. The Way Out Part 1

**I'm back with another chapter! I'm glad that you readers like my story, and want me to continue. I've decided to cut this one in half as well, and I think I will do that in the future. Two chapter pr. episode.**

 **Anyways... please enjoy this chapter, and let me know what you think!**

 _ **I don't own "Outlander" only my Oc.**_

 ***cathrineoriginal***

* * *

 ** _London, 1928._**

 _10-year-old me, was running around in Hyde Park, flying my kite with my grandfather. I was the only child my mother ever had before she died, and my father was absent. My grandfather always did boyish things with me. Not that I minded. My grandfather currently sat in the grass, reading a book, not paying that much attention to what I was doing, but I really didn't care. I ran around, concentrating on my kite, instead of looking where I was going. I collided with someone, and it hurt so much._

 _"Ouch!" I exclaimed, rubbing my forehead._

 _"I am terribly sorry!" The voice of a boy said, and I looked up at a boy not much older than myself._

 _"That's fine. I did not see where I was going." I answered quickly, taking the outstretched hand given to me._

 _"It's not every day that you find a girl running around with a kite." The boy said, and I finally looked up at him._

 _"A lot of girls play with kites. You're just being silly." I said with a giggle. "I'm Ceana."_

 _"Nice to meet you, Ceana. My name is Frank, and I have a feeling we're going to be good friends."_

* * *

"Bloody hell." I exclaimed, as Mrs. Fitz poured water over my head, breaking me away from my thoughts.

"Aye, a bit brisk? Keeps you clearheaded and strong though." Mrs. Fitz said with humor.

"I really can wash and dress myself, you know." I said, feeling a little grumpy.

"Oh, I don't mind helping you. Such beautiful skin you have. I've never seen a woman past eight or nine with skin so unmarked by injury or illness. Your future husband will be a lucky man." Mrs. Fitz told me, and it made me think about everything I missed out on back at home, how lonely I felt.

"What's wrong?" She asked me, and I realized, that she was the only one I could talk to.

"Mrs. Fitz, Can I tell you something?" I asked her.

"Of course, you can." Mrs. Fitz answered, and I couldn't help but smile at her kindness.

"It's about my friends. They're not dead." I told her in a rant.

"Have you run away from them? Did they not threat you right?" Mrs. Fitz asked.

"No, they're wonderful. It's just, well… they haven't been born yet." I said, deciding to tell her everything, in hope that she would understand.

"I don't understand your meaning." Mrs. Fitz said, and I took a deep breath. It was now or never.

"Mrs. Fitz, I seem to have fallen through time. I was on holiday with my friends in 1945, 200 years from now. It was Samhain, and I went to the stone circle at Craigh Na Dun. Do you know it?" I asked.

"Aye."

"I've heard strange tales. I touched the stone, and it the world just spun out of control, and the next thing I knew, I was here in 1743. I'm not an English spy. I'm from the future." I said, letting out a breath.

"It's a lot to take to mind." Mrs. Fitz said.

"I can hardly believe it myself. I don't even know if I can travel forward to my own time. I have to get back to the stones." I told her.

"Is it my help you're asking?"

"Do you think the Mackenzie's would believe me if I told them the truth?" I asked, feeling the emotions get the best of me.

"Perhaps. You're fair of eye and honeyed of tongue, but I see you now for what you are." Mrs. Fitz said, and I could see the change in her eyes. This was not going to end well.

"What?"

"Be gone, evil demon. I abjure thee!" Mrs. Fitz screamed at me.

"No, Mrs. Fitz… I said, trying to get through to her.

"I'm a good Christian woman! I'll not let you spell me. Witch! Witch!" Mrs. Fitz screamed.

* * *

A push from a horse's muzzle, broke my train of thought. I had just played the scenario in my head, that showed what happened if I ever told anyone about this.

I looked up at Ahearn. Yes, the white stallion had finally gotten a name. I wanted him to have a good name, and what is better than Celtic name for horse or horse-lord. Ahearn seems to like his name, though. We've become good companions over the last few days. I didn't know how to deal with everything. As of now, I've only had to deal with minor injuries on Alec's horses, but I knew that there soon would be some sick and injured people. So, I used my time, reading the books that was left in that cellar, just so I didn't forget about the few things I learned from Claire over the years. I was currently sitting right on the outside of the castle, with Ahearn close by. He was standing there, sleeping, but still alert, just in case he needed to escape quickly. The weather was getting colder, and that meant even more layers of clothing, and lots of wool. I still found it a little cold though, but I didn't want to use more time in the castle then needed. Mrs. Fitz came outside some time ago, bringing a blanket with her. She told me that she didn't need me to get sick right now, and she told me something I didn't grasp, but I was in my own head.

Jamie and I haven't talked since we said our goodbye. I don't know if he was angry with me for the way we said goodbye, but I thought that he would at least be glad that I stayed after all.

"Hundreds of Mackenzie's will be turning up in the next few days for the gathering." Mrs. Fitz said, and I still didn't pay attention. "Are you listening to me, child?"

"Sorry, what? Gathering? I'm not familiar with that term." I said, shaking my head.

"'Tis where all the Mackenzie men throughout the Highlands come and plight their oath to the clan and himself." Mrs. Fitz told me. "Last one was decades ago when Colum was made Laird. I'm fair glad you're here to handle the physicking. I have enough to manage without dealing with folks' ailments. You do well with that. Dougal and himself will not forget it. You'll be in their good graces, make no mistake."

I smiled up at the kind woman. She really tried to make me feel welcome here. If I could get in Colum and Dougal's good graces, perhaps I could win my release, and begin to make my way back to my old life. I finally decided to get back to my cellar, so Angus could get out of the cold. He's been following me around the last few days, and he's getting frustrated. All I do, is read books, and do minor injuries on horses and a few unlucky people. I walked through the halls, and it was really buzzing. This is what Mrs. Fitz was telling me about. They were all preparing for the gathering tonight. It would kind of be fun. To see how they did these things. I'm sure it's nothing like what I'm used to. Not that I spend my time, drinking too much. Never liked the taste of it. I walked around the cellar, looking through one of the books, going through some on the stuff that was here.

"For headache, take ye one ball of horse dung. It is to be carefully dried." I mumbled to myself, as I walked around.

Medicine and caring for the people of the clan Mackenzie seemed the most logical way for me to earn their trust, but in order to do that without raising suspicion, I would have to find a way to apply 20th century medicine using only the methods and equipment available in the 18th. I wished at Claire was here. She would've known more what to do. I picked up a bottle, reading the label.

"Slaters." Something I've never heard of before. I opened it up, and poured some of it into my hands.

" Woodlice! Oh, god!" I exclaimed, and tried to get it off me. I was freaking out, and I hated little bugs. Alongside the jars of pigeons' blood, ant eggs, and powdered human skull whose, I wondered, there were a number of herbs and extractions in Beaton's collection that might actually be helpful.

My guards began to spend their time in the kitchen while I was seeing patients.

I told myself this was a good sign, a sign of trust, a feeling they hopefully would share with Dougal. I walked up to the kitchen, trying to find some help in the surgery.

"Excuse me, gentlemen. I could use some help in the surgery. The discarded medicines need to be disposed of." I said to Angus and Rupert, interrupting their drinking.

"What are you two drunkards still doing taking up space in my kitchen? If you're not working here, be gone with ye." Mrs. Fitz shot at them.

"We're just following orders keeping an eye on this one." Angus told her.

"Oh, and has she been hiding at the bottom of your mug for the past two hours?" Mrs. Fitz argued, stressing about this upcoming gathering. A huge shatter broke up our conversation. A woman stood there, afraid of what would happen with her. She seemed utterly broken.

"Oh, Shona. Dinna fash yourself over this. Go on home now." Mrs. Fitz said, and I think I was starting to really care for this woman. "Be with your other wee bairns."

"Who was that?" I asked, feeling bad for the woman.

"Colum's chambermaid." Mrs. Fitz said.

"Is she going to be all right?" I asked sincerely.

"Aye, in time. Her boy died last night, wee Lindsay MacNeill." Mrs. Fitz said sadly.

"What happened? Why did nobody come and get me?" I asked, feeling responsible. I could've helped this boy. I hated not being able to help someone.

"Oh, miss, what ailed wee Lindsay has no mortal cure. He went up to an eaghais dhubh, he did." Angus shot in.

"Where?" I asked, not knowing of this place.

"The old ruins of the Benedictine Monastery." Mrs. Fitz answered. "Folk hereabout call it the Black Kirk."

"You think somehow the ruins killed him?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"'Twas not the ruins, you daft woman. 'Twas the demons who roam free inside the ruins." Rupert said, and I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

"Poor wee soul. Sickly boy on his best day. No match for Old Nick." Mrs. Fitz told me as a young boy approached us.

"The Mackenzie requests your presence in his chambers, Ms. Hamilton." The boy said politely.

"Have you never heard of a comb, you wee gomeril?" Mrs. Fitz bellowed, walking over to the boy, and smoothing his hair down.

"Aw, leave off, auntie." The boy exclaimed, making me giggle.

"My nephew, Tammas Baxter. Lindsay Macneill was like a brother to him." Mrs. Fitz told me, and I couldn't help but give the boy a sad smile.

"Mackenzie's waiting." Tammas said, and I let out a sigh.

"Right. The medicines are on the step. You can't miss them." I told Angus and Rupert, and they only grunted in response. Men…

I walked up the stairs towards Colum's chambers, thinking about my time here, about all the things I could do with modern medicine, and not seem like a witch… there's one wish I had though... "I wished I had the ability to treat Colum. It would alleviate what I knew was a great deal of pain, and it would certainly make Colum see me in a more favorable light.

* * *

I walked into his chambers, only to find him standing in front of a mirror with someone I could only assume, was a tailor. And I could tell, Colum wasn't pleased with it at all.

"It'll be a trifle longer than your standard frock coat." Colum said, looking at his tailor.

"Well, you're hardly standard, now, are you, my Laird? A one-of-a-kind coat for a one-of-a-kind man." The stupid man said.

"I was told that you're the finest tailor in the Highlands, come fresh from Edinburgh." Colum stated, and the poor bastard just walked right into that one.

"Well, I thank you, my Laird. My wife's people are Mackenzies, and I'm always happy for a chance to bring her home." The tailor replied.

"And did your wife's people encourage you to mock your Laird?" Colum asked him, and I had to hide my chuckle. "Does not a man's coat usually fall just to the knee?"

"Yes." The tailor said quickly.

"And did I ask you for anything different than that?" Colum practically hissed.

"Well, no, not explicitly, but, um, I just thought…" The tailor started to say but Colum cut him off.

"That my legs should be hidden? That I have something to be ashamed of?" Colum hissed, and I found some new respect for the man.

"I would never presume. My Laird please." The tailor pleaded.

"You make me a standard frock coat and have it back to me by tomorrow." Colum demanded.

"Of course, my Laird. Thank you, my Laird. Thank you." The tailor said hurriedly, before leaving the chambers. I just stood there, looking after him, thinking about how stupid he was.

"Do you sew as well as physic, Ms. Hamilton?" Colum asked me, finally noticing me.

"I'm not the best you can find, but I have some abilities…" I answered. "Maybe I can help?"

"No, don't bother. I called you here on another matter." Colum said, and I wondered what he could possibly want from me.

"Davy Beaton, he used to massage me. It made movement easier. I hoped you would do the same." Colum told me, and I finally understood why he would remove his trousers.

"Of course." I agreed. Luckily, I had a small flask of oil in my apron, which was what you would call a natural oil, to sooth his muscles. Apparently, I had used too much time for his liking.

"What's wrong? Do you find my legs as repellent as the tailor does?" Colum asked me.

"No, it's just, well, I believe it'd be more beneficial if rather than your legs, I massaged the base of your spine." I answered, knowing a little thing or two about massage.

Colum didn't argue, and flashed his rear end to me without blinking. I wasn't prepared for that, but I didn't mind it.

"Don't tell me my arse offends you too." Colum said, and I just ignored him, and just started to work on him.

"Moist heat is usually quite soothing after a massage. Is there any water for boiling or some clean cloth?" I asked, looking around.

"No. Mrs. MacNeill, my chambermaid, she lost her son last night. She hasn't been in this morning." Colum answered, and I suddenly felt bad again.

"I was very sorry to hear about her boy." I said, taking a deep breath.

"Aye. It's Satan's work. The foolish child he went up to the Black Kirk." Colum told me. "Sometimes I wonder what I did to make the devil punish me like this. What, you don't have demons in London, Mistress?"

"We do, but we call them Scots." I answered, making him laugh, and then gasp in pain.

"I'm so sorry." I said, removing my hands. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"No, you didn't. You're easing the pain considerably." Colum answered, and it made me relax more, getting back to my task.

"Gwyllyn the bard, he'll be singing in the hall tonight before the gathering. I'd like you to come along as my guest." Colum said, and it surprised me.

"Thank you." I said, actually feeling honored that he would invite me.

"I must say, the work you've done with that Stallion of yours, is rather impressive. But I can see my he likes your gentle touch." Colum told me, before almost falling asleep from my therapeutic movements. I decided not to say anything stupid, to ruin this progress.

After my work was done, I walked out of the castle, only to find Ahearn waiting patiently for me. I smiled and petted him.

"Hey there, precious." I said softly, leaning against his soft fur. It made me feel more at peace than before, and it made me more certain that I would manage to get through this thing they had in store tonight.

What I didn't know at the time, Jamie was standing by the stable, watching me, trying to decide what to do next.

The night had finally fallen, and I walked towards the main hall, wanting to join the feast. I could hear the murmur of voices, and I wondered how they would all feel about me being here.

I stood mainly in the shadows, observing the party, seeing Colum sitting there with his wife, Letitia. I only wished that I could see the vile creature that creeped up behind me, before it was too late.

"My brother looks very well tonight." Dougal said, and I tried not to flinch. "He says it's down to you and your healing touch."

"I'm glad I could be of service." I said, without looking back at him.

"Aye. Seems that the feral cat we picked up on the road is trying to pull in her claws." Dougal said, and it made me want to punch him in the face.

"What a charming description. If you'll excuse me, I believe I'll have a better view from over there." I said, leaving him behind without much thought. I hated him, or at least I thought so.

I sat down on one of the benches, so I could get a good view of Gwyllyn the bard. I missed music. I missed to dance, I missed to dance to Frank Sinatra, but I think I will fairly enjoy this. I looked up and saw the young girl from before. She looked back at me, and I just waved politely. She gave me a small smile back, and something told me she didn't care that much for me. Maybe that would change soon. Suddenly, the young girl's eyes started to shine. She waved at someone, and I turned my head, only to see Jamie walking in. Oh… this is basically the first I've seen of him after the awkward goodbye. I watched as Jamie waved back at her, but it surprised me more that he sat down next to me, instead of her.

"Ms. Hamilton." He said politely, and it all felt a little fake.

"Mr. Mactavish." I said, and I tried to sound as sincerely as I could, not seeing the evil eye I got from the young girl. We sat there in silence, listening to the soft music. I was captivated by the singing, and I understood that he was telling a beautiful story.

"I don't understand a word, but it's so beautiful. Has Gwyllyn been at the castle long?" I asked, not taking my eyes of Gwyllyn. I found it soothing.

"Aye. Many years. I spent a year at Leoch when I was 16 or so. Gwyllyn was here then. Colum pays him well. Has to. The Welshman would be welcome at any Laird's hearth." Jamie answered, and I just continue enjoying the singing, and the glass of wine in my hand.

"Colum's rhenish, is it?" Jamie asked me, and I nodded my head.

"It's very good. I've had two… three glasses. You can have the rest if you like." I said, offering Jamie the glass. I looked over my shoulder and saw the young girl sitting there, and I could tell that she was jealous.

"Most folks who drink with Colum are under the table after the second glass." Jamie said and I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"Are you implying that I'm intoxicated?" I asked him.

"I'd be impressed if you weren't." Jamie argued playfully, and nudge me in the side. I couldn't help but giggle, before I turned my attention back to Gwyllyn. I absentmindedly hummed along with the tunes, and got lost in world of music. Jamie was shifting uncomfortably beside me, as if he was trying to figure out what to do.

"This dressing's been chafing me for days. Would you mind helping me with it?" Jamie whispered to me.

"Now? Yes, of course." I said, giving him a smile. I didn't want him to be in any discomfort.

* * *

He followed me down to the dungeon, I don't know why I still call it that.

"All right, so let's have a look at that shoulder." I said, making myself ready with new bandages if needed.

"Uh, I dinna need your help." Jamie said with a sigh.

"Okay… Why did you come back here with me then?" I asked, looking at him strangely.

"Well… I wanted to apologize for not talking to ye. And to apologize for the way we ended things." Jamie said, and I looked at him funny.

"What do you mean? You have nothing to apologize for. You didn't do anything wrong. Everything is fine, and I'm still here." I said, trying to assure him. I didn't want him to think I was mad at him.

"I should have known, though. If it was really uncomfortable, I imagine you would have just ripped off the bandages yourself." I said, changing the subject when I understood that he wasn't going to answer it.

"Oh, I was afraid to. Thought I'd get my arse skelped if I touched it." Jamie said, joking around, but there was still some truth behind it.

"Too right. I am the healer, after all. I'm in charge." I told him, and I found myself biting my lip. Why was I making a complete fool of myself? And why did I want him to kiss me senseless?

"Never doubted it." Jamie agreed, and it snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Really, though, if it was bothering you, you should have told me. I would've come over when I was out by the stables, taking care of Ahearn, and the rest of the horses." I said, and for a second, Jamie looked kind of sad.

"No. I couldna do that before Alec. Scars." Jamie told me.

"You don't want Alec to know you've been flogged?" I asked, but I could really understand why he didn't want that.

"No. No. Old Alec knows I've been flogged, but he's not seen it. To know something like that is well, it's not the same as seeing it with your own eyes." Jamie said, and it made me feel bad that I practically demanded that he removed his shirt in front of me. Jamie could see the expression on my face. "It's a bit personal, maybe, is what I mean. I think if Alec were to see the scars, he couldna see me anymore without thinking of my back."

"You don't mind me seeing your back?" I stated more than asked, trying to figure him out.

"I don't. You seem to have a knack for letting me know you feel sorry for it, without making me feel pitiful about it." Jamie said, taking a few steps closer to me. My entire posture changes, due to having him this close. I wanted him to come even closer, but I think my reaction threw him off a bit, and he took a step back.

"Anyway, I should go." Jamie said, and I didn't want him to leave. I needed an excuse for him to stay.

"Wait!" I practically yelled, cursing myself for my stupidity. "Let me have a look at that."

I closed the distance between us, and slowly undid his clothing. I only wished to see the wound, but being this close to him, I could smell that intoxicated smell of his. The one that made me want to jump his bones. I traced my fingers, ever so slowly over the wound, and I don't know if he was shuttering with pleasure, or because it hurt. I tried to form words in my head, but nothing came out, I just stood there, my breathing getting a little harder. Jamie noticed, but didn't back away. He placed his fingers under my chin, forcing me to look up into those beautiful eyes of his, and I was inwardly screaming for him to kiss me.

"Ceana." He said slowly, whispering it.

"Yes?" I breathed out…

"Stay completely still." Jamie demanded, and pressed his lips against mine. Once again, my mind went completely blank, and it was hard for me to remember that he wanted me to stay still. I completely lost it, and wrapped my hands in hair, obeying his orders. I pressed him closer to me, making him groan. Suddenly, I felt him pushing me away, but I didn't even dare to open my eyes. I felt his lips press against my forehead, and I found myself wanting them to stay on me forever.

"Good night, Ceana." Jamie whispered, before retreating. When I finally opened my eyes, he was already gone. Why did he keep doing this to me?

I walked back to my room, feeling flustered and kinda turned on. I sat down in front of the mirror seeing my red face. I tried my best to calm down, but there's no denying; I was falling for Jamie... and I got it bad.

* * *

 **There's the first half of the chapter! I hope you enjoyed it, even though it could've been longer. I just don't want you to wait too long between updates. Does it work, or do you want me to make them longer? I could always make them longer, but then I'll use even longer time between updates...**

 **the name of the stallion, Ahearn is pronounced EH-HERN.**

 **Please give me your thoughts.**

 ***cathrineoriginal***

* * *

 ***bexyhunterrogers: thank you so much! I'm glad you like Ceana.**

 *** Cassidy: Thank you! Here's your update!**

 ***Child of Dreams: Stoooop! You're making me blush!**

 ***Draegan88: Thank you so much! I'm hoping to write them steamier as the story goes on ;)**


	5. The Way Out Part 2

**I am so sorry for the long wait! It's been about 8 months since I last updated this story. And I'm so sorry about that. I just lost my muse. But I am happy to give you a new chapter, and I hope I'll be able to keep my muse this time.**

 _ **I do not own Outlander, only my Oc.**_

 ***cathrineoriginal***

* * *

The next morning came too quickly, but I couldn't stay in bed all day. I was going to meet Geillis in the garden soon. I hurried myself down to the kitchen, to get some breakfast. Angus was already there waiting for me, but I didn't pay him any attention. I ate as quickly as I could, wanting to get out of here as quickly as possible. Not seeing Jamie anywhere, made me restless. After what he did yesterday, when he kissed me, he had to like me. Maybe even develop feelings for me down the line. Ahearn came out of the forest, as if he knew where I was going. I still held him as free as possible, and he came and went as he wanted himself.

"Hey, beautiful." I whispered, as he walked along side me. We kept a rather brisk pace, and Angus huffed and puffed, trying to keep up with us.

"Do you never sit down, woman? My breakfast's barely past my gullet." Angus said out of breath.

"Walking is good for digestion." I said, calling over my shoulder.

"Ceana!" Geillis called when she noticed me. "Ah, I'm so glad you could join me."

"Wouldn't have missed it." I said, patting Ahearn's neck.

"Well. Who's this handsome fellah?" Geillis asked, gesturing towards the horse.

"Oh, this is my dear friend, Ahearn." I said with a smile. "He's the first friend I made after coming here. I've always believed that horses are better company than humans."

"You just might be right, my friend." Geillis replied as we walked around the garden, retrieving the things we needed.

"Got stuck walking with that pompous windbag Father Bain. He plans to perform an exorcism on the Baxter boy." Geillis told me as we walked through the meadow.

"Did you just say 'exorcism'?" I asked bewildered.

"Apparently Tammas Baxter went to the Black Kirk with wee Lindsay MacNeil. Now the young fool is seized with the same evil." Geillis told me, and I felt so bad for him. Geillis looked at me funny.

"What is it? What's wrong with you?" She asked me.

"Well, the boy, Tammas, he's Mrs. Fitz's nephew. When you say, 'seized with evil', what exactly do you mean? Is he ill?" I asked her.

"He's not ill. He's possessed. Do you not believe in demonic possession, Ceana?" Geillis asked me, and it made me raise an eyebrow.

"Do you?" I shot back.

"I believe there are powers beyond our ken beyond what we can see and hear and touch. Demon, fairy, devil doesn't matter what name we put on them. But you believe in the powers of magic, do you not?" Geillis said, and it made me sigh.

"Haven't really thought much about it." I said.

"Have you never found yourself in a situation that has no earthly explanation?" Geillis asked, and I couldn't help but think about the fact that I arrived her through some stones.

"You have to admit it's certainly possible the boy's actually sick and not possessed. And if that's the case, then perhaps there's something you and I can do to help." I practically begged her.

"People believe the boy is possessed, Ceana. You challenge that at your peril. I'll not go near him, and neither should you." Geillis told me, and I couldn't help but rolling my eyes. I let out a sigh, and decided to leave. Ahearn looked up at us, and decided to follow me. I loved having him next to me.

"Where are we goin'? Hey! Hey, where you goin'?" Angus asked, hurrying after me, and I couldn't help but rolling my eyes. He struggled with following me through the woods, but no matter how much he shouted, I wouldn't stop. I was on a mission.

* * *

I walked into town, to go see the boy who was sick, to show my support to Mrs. Fitz. And maybe there's something I could do to make Tammas feel better.

"Colum will not like you interfering with the workings of the spirits. It's not your place." Angus said, making me stop dead in my tracks. I turned around to face him, and gave him the stink eye. But he didn't catch up on that, and I could see him smirking.

"I thought that might change your mind." Angus said with a smile on his stupid face.

"Let it go, Angus. There's no way you know the way my mind works." I said, before turning around, ignoring his protests.

I walked into the house, and I could instantly hear the moans of that little boy. It made my heart bleed. I hated that this was happening. Mrs. Fitz sat by his bed, surprised to see me, but somehow, she seemed relieved.

"My sister has gone to fetch Father Bain." Mrs. Fitz told me, as I looked down at the boy beside me.

"Why is he tied?" I asked, feeling sorry for him. This was not necessary.

"In case he gets violent. The demons, you ken." Mrs. Fitz answered sadly. I sat down next to him, touching his forehead. Tammas flinched as I did.

"Shh. Tammas, Tammas, I'm here to help." I said softly, trying to calm him down. "Are his symptoms similar to that of the other boy?"

"Aye, much the same. Wee Lindsay was weak to begin with, so the devil took him much faster." Mrs. Fitz told me.

No fever, which meant it probably wasn't an infection.

"Are any of the others ill?" I asked.

"No, all right as rain." Mrs. Fitz confirmed.

His heart rate was slow and pupils' pinpoints. I remember Claire once told me that this was signs of poisoning.

"Tammas? Tammas? What have you eaten recently?" I asked him, trying to get him to talk.

"He's taken nothing but a bit of broth in the last day, and most of that he brought back up again." Frs. Fitz answered for him, but that's not what I was thinking about.

"Nay, don't come near me." Tammas said weakly without opening his eyes.

"He sees the demons even now." Mrs. Fitz said, starting to freak out, and I didn't blame her. She just didn't know better.

"It's all right. He's just hallucinating. It's another symptom." I tried to assure her, and tried to get the ropes off the sick boy. "Give me something to cut these ropes."

"No, miss. I wouldna do that." Mrs. Fitz warned me and just then, Father Bain came through the door.

"I should say not."

"What are you doing, Glenna? Letting a stranger in at a time like this?" Mrs. Fitz's sister came through the door and she looked terrified.

"Mistress Hamilton is a healer and a good one. She may be able to help." She tried to explain.

"Mrs. Baxter, he needs to be unbound and fresh air let in. I believe I can ease his suffering." I pleaded her as the priest chanted and threw holy water on him. This was not going to work. "Just give me a chance."

I tried my best to plead to her, but I could tell that she was too afraid to do it and I didn't blame her. This is all she has ever known.

"Best make way now, lass. Let the father do his work." Mrs. Fitz told me, and I couldn't do anything but to stay there, watching them trying to do an exorcism. I couldn't be a part of them killing this boy and had to force myself to walk away. It was one of the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

* * *

I walked outside quickly, going past Angus without waiting for him to follow me. I was in no mood to talk to him now anyway. Ahearn was nowhere to be seen and I figured he just walked back on his own. He was a free spirit and he would always be.

I walked through the halls of the castle, still thinking about Tammas. There must be something I can do.

"Did you feel a chill when you got near him?" Angus asked me as he followed me, breaking my inner monolog.

"A chill?"

"Well, they say you can feel old Nick's presence by the chill in the air." Angus told me, and I fought my best to not roll my eyes.

"Sorry to disappoint, no." I answered him.

"He must have been speaking in tongues, eh?"

"I'm afraid not." I replied.

"Well, I heard tell that wee Lindsay howled in five…." Angus started to say but was distracted by something else entirely. "Lazy, fat bastard. Wait right here."

I let out an irritated sigh, but I figure it was for the best not to do as I was told.

I felt sure Mrs. Fitz would let me examine the boy after the good father finished his incantation.

But even if I could figure out what was wrong with him, I might not be able to do anything about it with the limited resources at hand. The sound of laughter was brought to my attention, as someone crashed through the backdoor of the kitchen. The girl Laoghaire dragged someone inside, and it was no other than Jamie. At first, I smiled at them, because it seemed like they're having a good talk and to see Jamie again, made my stomach burst into butterflies. But that feeling soon turned to nausea.

I just witnessed Jamie and Laoghaire in a passionate kiss, and it that hit me harder than it did when I found out Frank was marrying Claire. I tried to tear my eyes away from them, but I couldn't. Tears started to fill my eyes as Angus came back, starling me. I was just glad Jamie didn't catch me watching them. It would've been really awkward.

"Good, very good. You ken how to obey a man's orders for once. Move." Angus ordered me, and this time, I wasn't even annoyed. I quickly wiped my eyes and followed him.

Angus brought me back to the cellar, and I was glad to have this time alone. I know there wasn't something going on between Jamie and myself, but I thought those kisses meant something to him. I let myself fall apart for a few minutes, before pulling myself together again. I couldn't afford to be like this. I needed to find a way to cure Tammas.

The day ended quickly and was consumed by darkness. I sat in the cellar, catching up on some reading, to see if there was something in those books about poisoning.

Suddenly, I heard the door open and I hoped it wouldn't be Jamie. Luckily, it was Angus.

"Dinner is ready. Come on." Angus said, ever the gentleman. He walked in front of me as we walked through the kitchen and saw Mrs. Fitz standing over the pots.

"You better get out there, lass, if ye want to grab something to eat before the beasts get to it.

"Actually, Mrs. Fitz, I am not that hungry, so I was thinking to rather take an afternoon stroll with Ahearn." I said, grabbing an apple. I walked out to the hall and saw everyone sitting there, eating. They were talking and laughing, telling each other stories.

"Ceana, over here!" She heard someone yell. I looked up and saw Jamie waving me for sit next to him, but I just shook my head.

"I'm terribly sorry, but It seems as if I have lost my appetite." I replied, and everyone grew silent.

* * *

I walked out of the hall and out towards the garden. Ahearn stood there, waiting for me, as if he knew I would come.

"Hey there, beautiful." I said as he placed his head on my shoulder. "I brought you something."

I held out the apple and he happily ate it. He was such a nice horse and I knew that I would miss him when I returned to my own world again. I checked on his legs, just to make sure that everything was okay.

"Ceana?" I heard someone say behind me and I froze up. I've learned to know and respond to that voice so easily. I turned around and looked directly at Jaime. He stood there all handsome and I wanted to forget everything.

"Hey." I said, turning back towards Ahearn.

"Are you feeling well, Ceana? You said you did not have an appetite." Jamie said, and he actually seemed worried.

"It's okay. It happens sometimes." I replied quickly. We fell into silence again and it was suffocating. I decided to put him out of his misery.

"That Laoghaire looks like a fun girl." I said without being able to look at him. "Great kisser too."

At first, I didn't expect him to say anything, and maybe he was so embarrassed he'd walked away.

"Ceana. About that…" Jamie started to say.

"It's okay, Mr. McTavish. I am not like you. And it's understandable that you would pursue another woman. But don't feel like you have to hide it from me." I said, trying to contain my tears. "I hope you're happy, and that we can be friends."

"Ceana…" Jamie took a step closer to me. "I don't want you to be mad or sad because of me."

"I'm not mad, Mr. McTavish… I'm just used to it. I'll talk to you later." I said and walked further into the garden along with Ahearn.

It was true that I wasn't mad or angry at Jamie. I was angry at myself for falling for this again. It happened in the future, why not in the past. I missed Frank. I even missed Claire.

Ahearn nudged his head against me, and it felt really good to get a warm hug from him. I didn't even know that I was crying until I felt his fur getting wet. Get yourself together, Ceana!

"Miss Hamilton. Miss Hamilton are you all right?" Dougal asked, standing not too far away.

"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you. What can I do for you, Mr. Mackenzie?" I asked wiping my tears away.

"I thought you might like to visit Geillis Duncan, the fiscal's wife, to restock yer shelves before the gathering." Dougal said, and it actually felt as if he did this to cheer me up.

"Yes- Yes, I would." I said rather eagerly.

"I'm going into the village tomorrow morning. I'll take you with me to Mistress Duncan's." Dougal told me before abruptly walking away. I let out a breath and ran my hands through Ahearn's fur. I wondered if he would let me ride him into town tomorrow. But like they all said, no man could ever get close enough to him to tame him. Maybe he just needed a woman?

I walked back to my room and just as I was opening the door, I saw Jamie standing there with Angus and he stopped talking right away. Hi eyes stuck on me as if he wanted to follow me. I just waved at him before slipping into my room. But for some reason, I could feel him standing outside my door and I wanted to tell him to fight for me but who was I to stand in the way of true love?

* * *

The next morning, I woke up early to get some breakfast before going to the stables to see if there was any chance to get some gear on Ahearn. He was standing there waiting for me again as if he knew what was going to happen.

I asked Alec for the help to find some gear and he looked at me as if I was crazy.

"It's your funeral." Alec told me and walked over to the fence, keeping his distance. Ahearn looked okay, so carefully placed the saddle on his back. He stood perfectly still and looked completely relaxed. Even with the bridle.

"Well… you know what they say, Ahearn. If I die, I'll die happy, right?" I said, trying to lighten the mood. Without thinking more about it, I got up in the saddle, and it felt wonderful. "Aren't you a well-behaved boy?"

"This is not going to end well, lassie. Why don't you just give up before you hurt yourself?" Alec said letting out a laugh. I wanted to prove him wrong and gently pressed my legs against him and Ahearn walked on as if he's been properly trained. This was all too weird.

Ahearn was a dream to ride, he carried himself with grace and I felt completely safe. I let out a laugh as he started to canter and ran around the field, with the cold wind blowing in my hair.

When I returned to Alec his face was completely white. And I realized that I had to be careful, so they wouldn't think that I was a witch or something. He turned around without saying anything and took Dougal's horse with him outside.

"I heard you're going with Dougal to town this morning. Maybe you can bring his horse to the castle, so I don't have to." Alec said giving me the reins. I didn't see any problem with that and gladly took them. Ahearn behaved all the way there and everyone was staring at me and it made me a little uncomfortable.

Dougal just came out of the castle and he just looked at me weirdly. I gave him the reins and he just grabbed them with a grunt and mounted his horse.

"Don't think you're something special just because you tamed a horse no man can tame." Dougal said like a grumpy old man.

"Maybe that's why. I never tried to tame him." I shot back and maybe that wasn't the best way to do things.

We rode to town in silence, but it didn't bother me. I was in seventh heaven of how Ahearn was so calm and nice with me and letting me ride him. I trust him with my life.

When I finally got to Geillis, she seemed rather happy to see me. She was more than helpful with my list.

"I'd say you need to lay in a goodly amount of white willow bark. Eases a whiskey headache." Geillis told me.

"So, is this your doing, my sudden but very welcome visit here?" I asked taking a whiff of her powders.

"As I told you, there's many things in this world we can't explain. I heard you made a visit to the Baxter's ' after all." Geillis said, and it made me let out a sigh.

"Yes, I got to see the delightful Father Bain at work. What a sight that was." I answered sarcastically.

"Was the exorcism successful?"

"I don't know. I left before it was over. I do know if Tammas were my child, I wouldn't leave him to the tender mercies of that man." I replied, thinking about how clueless the man really is.

"Steer well clear of him, Ceana. There's no mercy in his bible or his heart."

He takes the view that every woman since Eve is a born temptress who should be beaten daily by her husband to keep evil at bay." Geillis said, and I hated it.

"Sometimes I feel very much the stranger in a strange land." I said, and I did feel very out of place.

"It can't be easy being a Sassenach in the Highlands Assuming that's what you mean." Geillis said, but she couldn't really understand what I meant by that. I looked out the window as I heard some noise out there.

"What on earth is going on down there?" I asked as I saw a lynch mob, led by Father Bain, shoving a boy in front of them.

"Lad was caught stealing, most like usually is with the Tanner's lads. They've brought him to Arthur to dispense justice. If his breakfast had agreed with him this morning, lad might have got off with a whipping." Geillis said as this was totally normal. And maybe it was. "But since he's most likely costive or flatulent, the lad will probably lose his hand."

"For stealing? That's appalling." I said with a shiver. It made me so sad and angry that this was the way things were done in 1743. My thoughts were interrupted by the door suddenly opened and an older man walked through. He was moaning in pain and had to hold onto to the wall to keep him upright.

"I need some peppermint, my dearest. I canna render judgment with a roiling gut. Ow." He said sitting down on a chair and it made me still have hope.

"So you haven't decided the fate of the boy yet?" I asked him

"Huh? Eh?"

"This is Ceana Hamilton from up at the castle." Geillis informed him.

"Oh, yes. Yes, of course." He said before Geillis gave him what he needed.

"Ah, thank you, my darling. Ah! Oh, I believe it's working already." Arthur said in relief. "Ah ahh I don't know what evidence there is against the boy, but surely, he's confessed, actually. Stole two bannocks from his employer. Father Bain is arguing for taking his hand. Says it's the only way to save his immortal soul."

"But he's just a child. Surely you're not going to mutilate him just for stealing a loaf of bread." I said, trying to contain my anger.

"Oh, oh, away." He practically spat at me. What a jackass. I looked Geillis to see if she would give me any help.

"Arthur Imagine if our own union had been blessed, then how would you feel if your son were taken so?" Geillis said practically putting him under her spell. The way women can make any man swoon. "Surely it was but hunger that made the lad take to thievery."

"Aye. Aye." Arthur agreed.

"Can you not find it in your heart to be merciful, and you the soul of justice?" Geillis asked him, and I could not understand what she saw in that lump of a man. Security, maybe?

"Oh, my sweet, tender heart. Since he's confessed, I canna let him go, but perhaps one hour in the pillory and one ear nailed." Arthur finally gave in.

"Uh-huh? It is you who are tenderhearted." Geillis said, and I guess this punishment wasn't the worst… if I only knew what it was.

"reached a decision, Father Bain. We seek only justice." Arthur said as he left the room. Geillis turned towards me with a huge smile on her face.

"There. Easily done. The man has no notion of guile." She said with a huge smile.

"What does that mean, one ear nailed? Nailed to what?" I asked almost too afraid.

"To the pillory, of course. Better than losing a hand." Geillis explained, and it made my stomach turn.

It was horrible, listening to the screams of that young boy. I wanted nothing more than to protect him. Those screams were almost as bad as the ones during the war. Geillis on the other hand, didn't seem to care.

"Let's get these herbs pounded and put them on to steep. Then we can go downstairs and have a nice glass of port and tell each other all our secrets." Geillis said with a smirk, as if we were best friends. I only smiled and nodded, but my mind was still on that boy. Just like it was over an hour later. He still sat there, and I was standing here, absentmindedly swirling my glass around in my hand.

"You do puzzle me, Ceana. One would think you don't have pillories or punishment where you come from."

"It's different there." I said quickly.

"Wouldn't think things were so different in England." Geillis said.

It's not just that… I had an unusual childhood." I said thinking about living with my grandparents.

"Really? Do tell." Geillis told me with passion. "Fascinated to hear all about it."

The knock on the door saved me from that conversation. But the one coming through it, wasn't the one I was hoping it would be.

"Mistress Duncan. Miss Hamilton." He said, keeping his eyes mostly on me.

"Mr. Mactavish." Geillis greeted him.

"Dougal was called back to Leoch. I'm sent to fetch ye." As if I wasn't capable to get back myself. "Brought your cloak to keep you warm."

Miss Hamilton was just about to tell me of her unusual upbringing." Geillis told him. "I'm sure it's a good story. Why don't you have a glass of port and listen in?"

"More time, I would, but we should leave, or we'll get naught but scraps for our dinner." Jamie told her, and I was so glad I didn't have to tell them. I didn't have the best imagination.

"Thank you for your hospitality, Geillis, and for these." I said, gesturing to the herbs and other things.

"We must do it again."

"Of course." I said politely.

"Soon."

I only gave her a smile and walked out of there. I was starting to get tired and I just wanted Jamie and Ahearn to take me home. We walked outside together and that poor boy still stood there and it made me angry.

"How much longer do you think he'll have to stay there?" I asked Jamie maybe a bit harsh.

"He can leave anytime he wants. His hour is done. It's just the lad's not got up the courage to tear his ear from the nail." Jamie told me, and I felt a shiver down my spine.

"You mean he has to tear himself loose?" I asked.

"Aye. He's still a bit nervous, but he'll set his mind to it soon enough." Jamie said as if it wasn't a big deal. There must be something I could do to make sure that boy doesn't hurt himself even more.

"Mr. MacTavish, your fingers, they're quite strong, I suppose?" I asked him quickly.

"Aye." He replied, not knowing where I wanted to go with this. But luckily, he agreed to whatever I was planning.

We walked together towards the boy and Jamie played his part perfectly.

"Now then, Novelli, got yourself in a right swivet, have you no? Yon's no job to be making heavy weather of. A wee jouk of the head, and it's over." Jamie said to him, to taunt and scare the boy. "Here, shall I help you?" Jamie looked over at me and I knew that was my cue.

"No, no." The boy pleaded.

I pretended to be dizzy and fell the ground with a loud bang, gaining everyone's attention. That way, I gave Jamie enough time to remove the nail without them noticing. He walked over to me to help me up, and I tried my best not to give my smile away.

"She'll be all right, just doesn't like the sight of blood." Jamie told them holding out his hand for me. He steadied me for a moment, keeping his arms wrapped around me. I hated that it made me feel good. That what happened last night was just a dream.

"Thank you. I know that was a risk." I said as we returned to our horses.

"You wouldn't expect me to be less bold than a wee Sassenach lassie, now, would you?" He said, and I knew he was just trying to be macho. He really was a man.

"Would you be willing to risk helping me again?" I asked him full of hope. I could tell that he was uncertain, but he also knew that the look in my eyes meant something. "Do you know the Black Kirk?"

* * *

Jamie didn't say anything but nodded his head. He helped me back up on Ahearn, and he brought me to the ruins. The moment I got there, it took my breath away. Jamie helped me down and I stood there with his arms wrapped around me. I could feel his breath tickling on my skin and it was distracting. I stepped around him and looked around a little for myself.

"It's so peaceful. It's not at all what I expected." I said walking around.

"Well, they say Satan's clever. He'd hardly catch many unsuspecting souls if he laid his traps in bogs and tunnels." Jamie told me.

"Do you actually believe demons live in this place?" I asked cocking an eyebrow at him.

"Well, I know wee Lindsay and Tammas are not the first boys to sicken or die after a visit up here.

To tell the truth, visiting the Black Kirk and living to tell the tale is a way to prove your manhood.

Did it myself When I was a lad with no harm done, but my own cousin fell under the spell and was sick near a week."

"You think demons were responsible?" I asked

"I'm an educated man, mistress, if I may be so bold. Maybe not as educated as you, but I had a tutor, a good one. He taught me Latin and Greek and such, not childhood stories of fairies, devils, waterhorses in lochs. But I am also a Highlander, born and bred, and I dinna believe in tempting fate by making light of old Nick in his very own kirkyard." Jamie said, and I felt captivated.

"So, when you would come here as a boy to prove your manhood, what exactly would you do?" I was snooping so much right now.

"Not much. Caper about, mostly. Climb the walls. Maybe defy the devil by pissing on the stones. You might be lucky and find some berries or wood garlic to eat." Jamie said.

"Wood garlic? And you'd eat it?" I asked him. "Can you show me?"

Jamie nodded and showed me where to find it.

I examined the leaves of it and something struck me.

"This isn't wood garlic. It's convallaria majalis, lily of the valley." I said, so glad my grandfather pushed me into gardening during the years.

"Lily of the valley? Huh. I never heard of it."

"That's because it's not native to Scotland. The monks that built this place, were they from Germany by chance? Germany? Prussia, I mean." I asked, forgetting that they didn't know about Germany since Prussia lost their independence as late as 1933, to the Nazi regime.

"Aye." Jamie said and it all just clicked for me. I turned around, ready to run back to Ahearn. "I need to get back to Tammas, before it's too late."

"I'll see you at the Castle." I said and turned Ahearn around before Jamie could do or say anything. I knew what I had to do to make Tammas well again.

I slowly walked through the door at Mrs. Fitz's sister's house, and found Father Bain still preforming an exorcism. Mrs. Fitz was there and she looked relieved to see me again.

Miss. Hamilton! "The poor Bairn is nearly gone." Mrs. Fitz said with tears in her eyes. "Satan has claimed his body. Father Bain can only hope to save his immortal soul."

"I think I can save his life." I said with urgency and compassion. I think Lindsay and Tammas ate this.

This is lily of the valley, but it looks exactly the same as wood garlic, but this is poisonous. I can give Tammas something to counteract the poison, but we have to move quickly." I pleaded them. But this did not sit well with Father Bain.

"What blasphemy is this?" He practically hissed at me.

"Father, I mean no blasphemy." I said, trying to respectful. "I simply…"

"I am the lord's disciple! You are not ordained to drive away the demon. Now, leave this house this instant." He yelled at me, and I was through with being nice.

"The boy's problem is poison, not a demon. And if you don't let me tend to him, he will die. Now, please step aside and let me tend to the boy, or you'll see blasphemy." I said strongly. Maybe to threatened him like this wasn't the best way to go, but I had to it this way, or Tammas would die.

"Let her pass, father." Mrs. Fitz told him and it set him off even more.

"I will not be ordered about by a woman. This boy is a slave to Satan and must be purged or have his soul doomed to eternal damnation." He argued and I was afraid he was going to burst into flames.

"This is my sister's house, and my father's before that, and we'll decide what is done under its roof. Tend to the boy." Mrs. Fitz told me firmly and I nodded. I'm so glad she listened to me.

"I smell the vapors of hell on you." He hissed in my ear before letting me go. Great! Another enemy. I sat down next to Tammas and took out a small bottle with the medicine to save him.

"It's a decoction of belladonna." I told them. If the decoction worked, it would normalize his heart rate, lower his blood pressure, and bring him back to consciousness within moments. If I was wrong about the dosage or the original poison, it would cause convulsions and kill the boy almost as quickly. I just hoped I wasn't wrong.

"Tammas." I whispered as I felt the boy started to move and made small noises. The boy opened his eyes and looked for the only person he felt safest with.

"Ma." He croaked out.

The family gathered around him and praised the lord and hugged me fiercely. I was just as happy as them but not Father Bain.

"Satan may like to make a fool of god, but god will have the last word. I promise you that." Father Bain said before he left in a fit of rage.

* * *

It was getting dark when I finally returned to the Castle. Jamie was waiting for me by the stables, so that I could give Ahearn the pampering he deserved. For once, Ahearn seemed content with staying inside the stables for the night with a lot of food. I found a rug and placed it up on his back. I didn't know if this was custom in 1743, but I thought would be cold here at night and he seemed to enjoy it.

When I finally reached my room, I collapsed on the bed. I was exhausted, and it had been an emotional day. I decided to stay in my room, instead of joining them at the feast down in the hall. I had no desire to see that mixture of awe and suspicion that seemed to follow me as I walked through the castle to get to my room. It only heightened the feeling of hopelessness about my situation that had come crashing down on me. I had performed what has been called a miracle, but instead of buying me my release, it had tightened my bonds to this place.

And even if I did get away, get back to the stones, I had no guarantee it would work again, whatever it was. And if it did work, there was no guarantee that I would get back home. But then again… I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to go home, or if it was even possible. I started a fire in the fireplace and changed into my night gown. I wanted nothing more than to just lie down, and not wake up for a few days. I settled down with a book Colum so graciously offered me. And it was a Shakespeare book.

"Romeo and Juliet."

Not a book I thought I would read here of all places. Even though Shakespeare wrote this book over 150 years ago.

It was soothing, sitting here in my bed, reading and drinking something warm. Much better than staying at the party down stairs.

A knock on the door brought me out of my own little world and I couldn't for the life of me understand who would come at my door at this hour.

"Uh… Come in?" I asked a little unsure. The door opened, and Jamie walked through the door.

"Miss. Hamilton? Are you okay?" He asked suddenly feeling embarrassed that I was already under the covers.

"Yes. I'm fine." I answered, motioned for him to come in.

"We missed you at the feast down in the hall." He told me and sat down on a chair beside the bed.

"Yes, I know. I was just tired after a long day and I needed some time alone. Are you all right?" I asked him.

"No… Ceana. I need you to know something. About Laoghaire." Jamie started to say and that's exactly what I didn't want to hear more about.

"Jamie. I told you yesterday. You don't have to explain anything when it comes to her. I just want you to be happy." I told him honestly. "And you don't have to explain yourself to me about what makes you…."

Jamie cut me off by giving me one of the best kisses I've ever experienced. If was as if he wanted to explain everything by this kiss. It started off as rough, but soon melted into soft pecks as I wrapped my arms around his neck, trying not to pull him into the bed with me. Jamie placed his forehead against mine and breathed out heavily.

"What are you doing to me, Jamie?" I whispered with my eyes closed.

"I just wanted you to know that what happened with Laoghaire was a mistake. I was confused about you and… I didn't know how to handle it. She's not the one that has captured my heart." He whispered back to me.

I wanted nothing more than bring him into my bed and make him cuddle me all night, but I knew he couldn't do that. It wouldn't look good if we did. He never let go of my hand, though, and rubbed it in soothing circles.

"Stay with me until I fall asleep?" I asked him as I settled back down onto the bed.

"Aye." Jamie answered and I couldn't be happier.

"Tell me what I missed at the hall." I breathed out and Jamie couldn't help but chuckle.

"The tale was about a man out late on a fairy hill on the eve of Samhain who hears the sound of a woman singing sad and plaintive from the very rocks of the hill. I am a woman of Balnain. The folk have stolen me over again, the stones seemed to say." Jamie said in that soothing voice of his.

"I stood upon the hill, and wind did rise, and the sound of thunder rolled across the land. I placed my hands upon the tallest stone and traveled to a far, distant land "where I lived for a time among strangers who became lovers and friends. But one day, I saw the moon came out and the wind rose once more. so, I touched the stones, and traveled back to my own land and took up again with the man I had left behind."

I recognized this story. I've lived through this story.

"She came back through the stones?" I asked in a whisper.

"Aye, she did. They always do." Jamie whispered, kissing my forehead. I closed my eyes and exhaled deeply.

It was a folktale, madness to take as fact, and yet half of what Gwyllyn had described had actually happened to me.

Why not the other half, the part where the woman returned home? What had Geillis said? There's many things in this world we can't explain.

My heart suddenly lightened, and I knew in that moment I could no longer wait for permission or assistance.

I must escape Castle Leoch and get back to the stones as soon as possible.

At least… that's what I should do. Why is my heart so conflicted with traveling home to the place I know and love?

A huge part of me, wants to stay behind. In the place I've felt so much more at home than any other place in the world…

* * *

 **There it it. I hope you liked it, and that you haven't lost you completely.**

 **What do you think Ceana will do when it comes to leaving? She's already so conflicted.**

 **Until next time xD**

 ***cathrineoriginal***

* * *

 ***bexyrogers41: I am so sorry for keeping you waiting! I have no excuse for it, and i hope you can forgive me.**

 ***BrittStar1199: I am so glad you like them, and thank you for the PM that kicked me out of the funk and made me finish this chapter.**

 ***kayluvsall: thank you so much, it means a lot to me. sorry for the long wait.**

 ***Gale Lover: Thank you so much! I am sorry for using all this time but I hope that you'll forgive me.**

 ***Child of Dreams: Haha! That cracks me up! You put a smile on my face!**

 ***Guest: You'll just have to wait and see. And hopefully, it won't be another. months to wait.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi, everybody...**

 **I hope you all take your time to read this...**

 **I am sad to announce that I'm going to put all my stories on hold for some time, and I don't know when I'll be able to update again. On Monday, my father was rushed to hospital after being sick for some time. And we were told he has cancer, and the prognosis is not good. This is a devastating time for me and my family, and I just don't have it in me to write anything these days. I hope you understand, and gives me the time I need to be with my family at this point.**

 **Sincerely; Cathrineoriginal**


	7. Chapter 7

Hi, everyone...

I know it's been a while, because of my dad's illness.

I'm sad to inform you that my dad passed away June 20th, 2019, and it's been rather difficult ever since. I want to try and come back to my stories, but it might still be awhile before the next update comes along. I need to get my life back together before continuing my stories... but I hope I'll return to you soon...

Sincerely, cathrineoriginal


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